Like Vietnam, I had to work a little harder than in India or Nepal to meet like-minded travellers. Thailand’s very tourist-friendly, so you get all sorts of people visiting. Connecting with locals has so far been much easier than in Vietnam, though, with many young Thai people speaking good English in Bangkok.

I ended up doing a lot over the week I was there, so this post ended up being quite long, even after I tried to limit it to the highlights. I hope you enjoy the read!

Songkran Festival

I timed my stay so that I could make it to Thailand for Songkran - the Thai New Year festival. The festival lasts 3 days, and entails splashing others with water and smearing them with clay as a symbol of blessing and protection.

There were a few main streets for celebrating the festival, and many bars and clubs held their own special events for it. You won’t be safe from the celebrations outside these places, though. I’ve gotten splashed by locals and their kids many times when just trying to go about my business.

I met up with Rain to celebrate (a friend from home who’s travelling while remote working, we also met in Hanoi) and her friend, Kar. We got some waterproof phone pouches and bought some water guns to join the madness.

Silom Road was pedestrianised for the duration of the festival and had various music stages set up. Most were playing American-flavoured EDM, which seems to be the genre of choice amongst young people.

The festival was, essentially, a massive water fight. I also couldn’t underestimate the kids - some of them had incredibly good aim. It was good fun, with laughs all around. Some roads were more packed than others, with me only braving Khao San Road (the backpacker and party street) once, only to be stuck in a tired one-way convoy.

Songkran was a fun time, but after a day, I had had enough (similarly to how I felt after celebrating Holi in Kathmandu). It also got a little treacherous biking getting Grab bikes around the city, too, with the drivers having to dodge puddles and water gun shots.

Food

The food in Bangkok is outstanding. Not only is Thai food incredible in itself, but the standard of it and the establishments that it’s served in are also high. For example, there are many boards and organisations rating food spots. The most popular ones are Shell’s Shuan Shim and the Bangkok government’s “Clean Food Good Taste” scheme. Food stalls can also only open at certain times and can only operate in certain areas, giving everything some order.

Shuan Shim is an initiative by Shell, which recognises places that serve good food (akin to Michelin’s Bib Gourmand - it was made to promote cooking with gas). These places can display a green bowl symbol as an accolade.

“Clean Food Good Taste” is awarded to places that serve tasty food, use high-quality ingredients, and meet certain hygiene standards. It’s awarded by the Bangkok local government, and its logo is a chef.

Note that I mentioned food “spots” or “establishments”, as a lot of the food I ate in Bangkok came from street food stands. With the standards being so high, I don’t need to wonder which street food stand will serve my last meal. India could take some notes.

Food tour

After enjoying the food tour I did in Hanoi so much, I found a similar one in Bangkok. I’ve been finding this to be a great way to see how the locals eat, try a bunch of dishes, and find out how to eat them. The tour ended up being fantastic, with the guide being very knowledgeable.

Bangkok is a much busier city than Hanoi, so a lot of the value from the tour came from having a runner save our spot in lines and ordering for us. I was impressed with the food we ate and how many places we ended up going to. My favourite dishes were:

• Stewed pork leg from Kha Moo Tee Sam - despite being someone who avoids meat, this was some of the best pork I’ve ever had. Super tender and flavourful.

• Thai green curry from Jek Pui - the best Thai green curry I’ve had. It had a lot of nuance to its flavour and a great texture. Also, while this place was featured in a street food documentary by Netflix, mainly locals were eating there.

• Soy sauce ice cream - a bit of a gimmick by Deksomboon (Thailand’s most popular soy sauce brand), but the sweet and savoury worked surprisingly well.

Some oddities

With such a large variety of street food on offer, there were also some rogue options. I tried scorpion and durian for the first time.

The scorpion didn’t have much meat to it, and you had to work to get the meat out from under the hard shell. It tasted a bit like crab and was pleasant, but it was hard work.

I’ve been curious about trying durian for a while, so I decided to finally buy some and try it. Honestly, I wasn’t a massive fan, with it tasting similarly to how it smells. The taste also lingered in my mouth for the rest of the night. I can’t really see how its smell and lacklustre taste make it so popular - maybe you had to grow up eating it to like it.

50-Year-Old Perpetual Stew

There’s a place in Bangkok that’s been serving the same batch of soup since 1976. It’s called Wattana Panich. I’ve been really curious to try it, reminding me of this guy on Instagram who’s cultivating his own perpetual stew.

In contrast to the perpetual stew guy, the chef of this place balances the flavour of the stew daily, maintaining the stew that was started by his father. I got a bowl of the stew, which contained a few floating bits of beef and miscellaneous vegetables.

The stew was rich, thick, and fatty. If you didn’t tell me that the soup was 50 years old, I probably wouldn’t notice, but there was depth to the flavour if you paid attention to it. It’s still soup in the end, but it was a fun experience to visit.

Cooking class

After doing a cooking class in Hanoi, which included meat, I thought I’d go for a vegan one instead in Bangkok, as I never cook with meat. There was one that was particularly well-rated - May Kaidee. I’m glad I chose it, as it ended up being so much more than just a cooking class.

The cooking itself was great. The teacher, Jenny, was really fun and taught well. The food we ended up making was also incredible. I’ve never had massaman curry before, and I made it here for the first time, and it’s now my favourite Thai dish. I’ve been ordering it everywhere.

Throughout the class, we sang this Thai song that we had been given the lyrics of about Thai food.

Later on, the owner, May, joined us. She’s a character. She lives in New York, where she owns another restaurant, and this was her first time back in Thailand in 8 years. She would spontaneously break out into song and dance, and is probably the most unintentionally funny person I’ve ever met due to how she speaks English.

May also had some traditional Thai clothes on for Songkran, and got us to dress up too. That eventually escalated to her teaching us traditional Thai dances out on the street, and one of the chefs livestreaming the whole thing on Instagram. Locals also joined in, and a policeman on a bike recorded a fair bit of us dancing. I expect to be granted prolonged visa-free entry when I come back.

Fish and chips crisps

To close off the food section, I got some limited edition “English-style fish & chips” flavour Lays crisps in 7-Eleven. I’m unsure how they managed to mess up so badly, but the crisps tasted like sour cream and neither fish nor chips. I’d buy them again.

Unhinged activities

Other than the 50-year-old soup, Bangkok was home to a bunch of other strange things I had to do.

Cum coffee

I’ve had the coffee shop called “cum” pop up on my Instagram explore page a few times over the last few years. Since then, it’s become my mission to check it out when I’m in Bangkok. I was particularly intrigued as the name sounded ridiculous, and yet the coffee shop itself seemed pretty fancy.

The coffee shop ended up being one of the boujeeeiest places I’ve gone to for a long time, with prices to match. The drinks were pretty fun - I got a matcha that had the whole inside of a coconut popped on top.

As to the name, it’s supposed to mean “with” in Latin, as in the context of “cafe-cum-office”, as they offer a coworking space. With Thai pronunciation, the name is pronounced more like “coom”, sounding like “funny” in Thai. The owners kinda messed up, but are leaning into it now.

Staneemeehoi

Staneemeehoi is a seafood restaurant where all the male staff wear women’s night gowns. Every 30 minutes or so, they’d put on a show, going around the tables and dancing with and around the patrons.

This was great fun. The food was good, too, even though it really didn’t have to be, as I’m sure they’d get enough people visiting for the show.

Sightseeing

There are a lot of temples in Bangkok. Wat Arun was my favourite, which is a Khmer-style Buddhist temple with lots of intricate details.

The most interesting landmark I found was the Mae Nak Shrine. I found out about it through Atlas Obscura, and it really intrigued me. To paraphrase, it’s a shrine dedicated to a ghost bride, Mae, and her unborn child. Her husband was sent to war, and in the meantime, the bride died. When her husband returned, Mae and their child were ghosts, and only later did her husband realise. The story then goes a bit crazy with Mae terrorising the town, and being repeatedly captured in a jar and escaping.

The locals were offering various offerings to the shrine and whispering things in Mae’s ear. There were also jars with numbered ping pong balls on the side, which you could take out to suggest numbers to play in the national lottery (note that most forms of gambling are illegal in Thailand, with this being one of the only legal forms).

There was also a nearby lake, which was teeming with fish. You can release fish and turtles into it as offerings. Interestingly, there were many people on the side selling fish and turtles that you could buy and release into the river yourself. I guess there’s some business in people buying the animals, releasing them into the river, and someone fishing them back out to resell.

The whole shrine had a very eerie feeling to it, with the walls being plastered with paintings of Mae and her unborn child. There were also no other foreigners when I went there, apart from Rain and me. I loved it.

Live Muay Thai

The Rajadamnern Muay Thai Stadium is the world’s first Muay Thai stadium, and it hosts fights every night. I was curious, so I got some people together from Hostelworld and went with them. The tickets were well-priced if you got the cheapest seats, and honestly, the cheapest ones were really good.

I didn’t expect to enjoy the fights as much as I did. Everything in the stadium was really well designed, and it felt like being in an IMAX cinema, with incredible sound and lights. My whole group ended up rooting for their favourites towards the end, and I’m very curious to try Muay Thai now (although I’ll likely be terrible at it).

They also had American-style karaoke breaks and dance cams, which I thought were a fun touch. I’d highly recommend coming here if you’re in Bangkok; your entire evening will be sorted.

Art

I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA BANGKOK). It’s my favourite gallery that I’ve been to while travelling so far. It has a huge variety of art over many floors, focusing on Thai artists. The space itself was also well designed and looked great in itself.

Bangkok itself has many areas with prominent brutalist architecture. I loved getting lost amongst the concrete.

Nightlife

When I was in Hanoi, I wrote a post specifically dedicated to the nightlife there. I went out twice while in Bangkok, and with the scene being so much more developed than in Hanoi, I didn’t find it to be too dissimilar from going out in Europe. Given this, I’ll talk about nightlife here and not in a separate post.

Clarisa Kimskii at Bar Temp

Clarisa Kimskii was playing in a bar/club around the corner from where I was staying in Chinatown (RA event link). I’ve listened to her sets before, and she plays a flavour of techno that I’m fond of, with a good bit of variety and groove. Chinatown itself has proved to be a fantastic location to stay - it’s central, offers great food options at all times, and is near to cool bars and nightlife.

The night was set in a venue that reminded me a little of The Glove That Fits in London. It was small and intimate, featuring a bar with a limited menu and a small outdoor smoking area. The crowd was in their late 20s to 30s and felt dedicated. It also seemed to mostly consist of locals, which I missed in Hanoi.

I had a great night, with the residents playing a sound that closely matched Clarissa’s. The club was low-lit, and the sound system was tuned for the space perfectly, perhaps lacking a little in the low end. For such an easily accessible night, I couldn’t complain.

Many of the same aspects of Asian clubs that I experienced in Hanoi also persisted - there was AC, and drinking water was expensive.

DJ Sweed and bunnyman.dogs at Trinity Mall

I stayed in Bangkok to make this night. I found out about these DJs just by researching nights from RA, and both of these DJs aligned closely with my taste and were Bangkok-based (RA link). Both have a bass-heavy sound, edging into the experimental, blending techno with some electro. I particularly enjoyed listening to this bunnyman.dogs set, and was eager to see him live as a result.

I’m unsure what the venue was called. It’s under a mall called “Trinity Mall”, and its name is just the street address. It was obvious that I was in the right place after seeing the neon sign.

The club was nowhere near full and had a lot of space to dance. It also had many areas to sit down and relax in, providing comfy sofas, which were much appreciated. The lighting was nice and subdued, complemented by artificial smoke. The sound system, like in Bar Temp, was a little light on the lows, but otherwise provided a precise sound. I slightly missed the feeling of bass reverberating through my body, though, especially given that the music was bass-heavy.

Both of the DJs I was interested in delivered, and time flew. The residents were also nothing to scoff at. The selections stayed somewhat slow and dark, but I think that may be due to the night not being too busy.

This was the first venue I’ve been to on my travels that had security, and I was surprised at just how nice the security guards were. In Europe, it always feels like security is on a repressed power trip and will try to find any reason to kick you out or otherwise cause drama. Here, the security guards were eager to help and were smiling while looking towards the music.

There was also a spinning stuffed sculpture next to the bar, which I thought was a nice touch.

I loved Bangkok. I will be back.

The city is huge, but also, it’s really a city in the plainest way possible. It doesn’t really offer many cultural attractions, with the main things to do being the beach (the view from which isn’t the prettiest due to the pollution), a theme park in the mountains, and various other new man-made monuments, which feel like deliberate investments to attract tourists (all have been built from the early 2000s onwards).

The city is also oddly popular with digital nomads and expats, which I wasn’t massively fond of. Strolling around in the mornings, you could see a lot of westerners with headphones on in fancy cafes, giving subtle Bali vibes. I got this reel the other day, which feels like a microcorm for what’s happening in Da Nang:

I may be interested in some hippie stuff, but this is not my vibe.

Saying all this, it was a good place to just surf in the morning and get into a bit of a routine without any distractions. I also enjoyed going to the same places often, in particular this vegan restaurant serving vegan versions of Vietnamese dishes, with ingredients from their own garden. The place was also owned by locals, locally priced, and had locals eat there - it’s been hard to find places like this outside India and Nepal.

Sightseeing

I had a day before surfing, where I explored the local attractions that are easy to get to. I say this, as many of the more popular are 1.5h+ out of the city. There’s a small park that houses the Lady Buddha statue that’s supposed to protect the fishermen, and a newly built pagoda. Honestly, nothing to write home about.

Da Nang also had some surprises for me.

The worst hostel so far

I had the pleasure of staying in the worst hostel I’ve been to so far. The rooms and the bathrooms were infested with mould, and the smell of it was everywhere. Someone also pissed on the floor in the bathroom on the first night I was there, which I discovered by stepping in said golden puddle.

What seems to have happened is that the hostel got a really high rating 2 years ago on Hostelworld (dropping from a 9.0 to 7.1 over 2 years) and must’ve been riding that success while seriously reducing its standards. The price and the location were hard to beat, though, so I braved it through a few nights. Apart from the floorpisser, the people in the hostel were very nice, which made the stay bearable.

I feel like I’ve got my hotel and hostel booking checklist down to a tee after this experience.

Donating to the local community

The first Bad Thing on my travels also happened in Da Nang - I lost my wallet. The circumstances were silly, as I had some swim shorts on after leaving the gym, and the wallet must’ve slid out without me noticing. Luckily, I carry two wallets specifically to mitigate the effects of situations like this - one with my cards, and one with cash. I lost the one with cash. It sucks, but it wasn’t too much money in the grand scheme of things (~£170), and I managed to get it all back through travel insurance (and as an aside, would gladly recommend Big Cat insurance).

When I realised I had lost my wallet, the locals were really kind and eager to help me. They all checked various security cameras around their houses, trying to see if they could see where I dropped it. I got really uneasy having this much attention on me quite quickly, though, so I bailed on the search after an hour. I’m treating this as a donation to the local community.

As a prerequisite for the insurance claim, I had to report the matter to the police. That ended up feeling like a humiliation ritual, with the police being very reluctant to give me any sort of case number that I could use in the insurance claim. I got a photo of my report back in the end, but similar to the palaver on the street when I lost my wallet, I just wanted to get out of there.

Anyway, losing the wallet sucked in the moment, it felt like a small price to pay for a few lessons. I’ve bought a few extra Airtags, started taking a photo of every receipt to help with future claims, started leaving excess money in my accommodation, and started using the locally-preferred payment method - bank transfer via QR code. The latter is usually difficult to access for foreigners, but a startup called Moreta Pay is making it easy across Southeast Asia. I really should have used this more on my travels so far - I’m writing this post from Thailand, and paying by QR code has made travelling here incredibly easy.

I’ll leave you with this awful AI decor that adorned the gym I was in before I lost my wallet. As an aside, I’ve been progressively seeing more AI slop make its way into everyday settings while on my travels in Asia - from billboards with AI-generated images, to cafes and taxis playing livestreams of AI-generated music nobody has to be paid royalties for. I’ve not noticed this to be so bad in Europe, but it’s pretty rife here.

Surfing

I made Da Nang sound pretty bad so far, so I’ll cut to the reason I was there - the surfing. And the surfing there was great.

I learned with Holiday Surf, based on their overwhelmingly positive reviews on Google Maps. I can concur with the reviews - the lessons were very well priced, the teachers were good, and they knew good English. After the lesson, you could also stay on the beach with any hired gear for as long as you liked to practise.

I had lessons over 3 days. Over these, I made a surprising amount of progress, being able to stand up after the first lesson, and working on independently catching and riding the waves on subsequent days. The surf school also had a photographer, so I got a few shots of myself surfing.

The teacher helped spot waves initially and was giving me a small push on the board, but progressively, I ended up doing more myself, with the teacher just giving feedback. When you manage to catch a wave, the feeling is incredible; I can see why people get addicted.

On subsequent days, my body ended up taking a bit of a beating, mostly the bottom of my ribs from perking up on the board, and a lot of sore spots on my hands and legs from rubbing against the board. Taking a day in between some of the lessons to rest would have been a good idea.

Every day provided a different challenge, with the waves changing daily. I’ve still got a lot to learn, and I’m hoping to get surf more later in my travels. Ideally, in a place with a bit more soul.

Knife making

I met some Kiwis in a cooking class in Hanoi who recommended a knife-making class in Hoi An to me. What made it special is that the metal used is from American bombshells - a cool story to have for your kitchen knife. I’ve also wanted to try blacksmithing for a long time, so this was right up my street.

It was just me and a Polish girl taking the class that afternoon (as a side effect, really pushing the limits of my rusty Polish), which was set in a quiet village outside Hoi An. There were two blacksmiths at the workshop who helped us and didn’t speak English, and a girl who ran the workshop and acted as a translator.

The knives, indeed, were made from old bombshells:

I asked whether bombshells are used because they’re made of a good material or for the story. The organiser said that it’s for both reasons. The material is good for knives, but they’re fairly high-maintenance, requiring drying right after use.

We chose the shape of our knife blades, which were pre-cut with a machine, and made the knife in a few stages:

• Flattening the blade by heating it up and bashing it with a hammer.

• Shaping the wooden handle with a sander.

• Sanding the blade manually.

• Polishing the blade with a machine.

• Polishing the blade manually with a scraper.

• Sharpening the blade with a whetstone.

It was a fun process that reminded me a lot of silver jewellery making, except now at a larger scale. It was tough work, too, and I ended up with a few blisters. It’d be wrong to say that I fully made the knife, though - it was only a 3-hour workshop, and after most stages, the blacksmiths needed to make a lot of corrections to our knives. The amount they could teach us was also limited because of the language barrier, so we often had to communicate through gestures. Still, it was a fun process and taught me a lot about blacksmithing.

The final result ended up looking great:

After the workshop, I wanted to ship the knife home because I didn’t want to have it in my luggage for the next few months, and I didn’t want to be tied to always checking my luggage in. This proved to be a serious mission, and I wasn’t successful. I tried 3 different couriers and spent a lot of time researching, but the couriers either didn’t want to accept the knife outright or wanted proper paperwork.

Maybe I could’ve been successful with more effort, but I wasn’t too motivated, as the experience of the class was already really fun, and I didn’t fancy having such a high-maintenance knife. There was a “discarded items” box in my hostel, so I left it there. Hopefully, they’ll make some use of it in the kitchen.

Hoi An old town

Hoi An was a really charming city, and I’m glad I got to visit it at night. It was quite busy and touristy, but also I’ve not been anywhere in Vietnam with so much preserved ancient heritage.

I tried cao lầu a few times here (meat and vegan versions), which is a noodle dish from this region. It’s characterised by containing rice noodles soaked in lye water, giving them a coarse, yet soft texture. I ordered seconds every time; it’s a great dish.

The town came alive at night, with the river getting rammed with boats, and live music playing from every corner. It’s an amazing place to just relax by the canal with a drink.

Hoi An Memories

Hoi An is home to a popular cultural show called Hoi An Memories. It’s a huge theatre production that’s set outside, which I’ve never seen before. The scale of it is so large that there’s a whole island pretty much dedicated to a theme park around the production.

The show was split into a few acts telling the story of Hoi An, featuring dancing and various light effects. It was very well done and impressive at such a large scale, but with the music not being live, had a slightly weird feeling to it.

I got back to Da Nang after. Hoi An is a great place, but would probably be best enjoyed in a group for a few days. At the same time, it’s worth getting things tailored here - I’ve spoken to a few travellers who got custom-made suits for around £200, which is a great price. Multiple fittings and measurements require you to be around Hoi An for a few days, though. This is another place for my list of places in Vietnam to come back to.

Both companies have astoundingly good reviews, so I booked onto a tour with Oxalis, which is cheaper and has smaller groups. I thought that didn’t make sense, but later was told that the ex-chief of marketing for Oxalis founded Jungle Boss. It all made sense.

I booked onto the Tu Lan cave encounter tour. This was a 3-day tour which included jungle trekking, cave swimming, camping, and some bicycle touring. I didn’t have much of a selection criteria for booking this - it was the only 3-day tour available in the upcoming week.

Welcome to the jungle

I ended up in a group with 8 Vietnamese people who all knew each other, and a girl from Hong Kong called Joyce (alongside the guide and porters). One Vietnamese girl, Nancy, spoke very good English and was easy to get along with, so she worked as a bit of a translator between the Vietnamese and us. It was a good group, and it was great to be doing something with locals again. Nancy also gave me a load of recommendations for things to do in Vietnam, which I’ve added to the existing list of things I want to do here in the future. You can really spend months here and not get bored.

The trek started walking through a few karst landscapes where bison were grazing, and required us to ford a river. We did this, and all subsequent swims, with all of our clothes on. It felt a bit strange, but the jungle was ungroomed and required constant dipping in and out of water. We were told about this beforehand and brought appropriate clothes, including long sleeves. That was also because of the leeches, and these innocent-looking leaves that will make your skin itch for a week if you touch them.

A hike through the jungle followed. It was relatively short, but quite technical, requiring quite a lot of scrambling. It’s probably the most scrambling I’ve ever done on a hike, and with the right gear, it was really fun.

The Vietnamese people were all kitted out head to toe in cool hiking gear. I’ve not seen an arsenal like it - all of them had gloves, hats, hoods, and long sleeves by the likes of ACG and Arc’teryx. I asked Nancy why they don’t just use sun cream, and she said that many Vietnamese people don’t think that sun cream is enough. It’s funny how the Vietnamese have so much respect for the sun, and the Europeans walk around shirtless with their bodies all pink.

The coolest parts of the hike were having to swim for a few hundred meters into some of the caves. I’ve never done anything like it, and it proved to be a nice change from usual hiking.

Once inside the cave, we had to scramble up some tricky sections and had the caves all to ourselves to explore. Some of the formations looked like something out of Sci-Fi films, so much cooler than anything I’ve seen in Europe.

Many parts of the tour included fairly elaborate photo shoots orchestrated by the guide. The Vietnamese people seemed to love it, so I think it might just be a cultural difference.

Like, what am I supposed to do with a photo like this:

After swimming in and exploring more caves, we went to the campsite and washed in the river. We could only use organic products, but luckily, the Vietnamese people had all the organic wash products ready and shared them with me. I’ve never met anyone who’s so prepared.

The campsite was already set up for us when we arrived, and the dinner was made in another tent. This was the most luxurious camping experience I’ve ever had; they really take care of everything here. I don’t mind some rugged camping, but I was glad to experience glamping turned up to this notch. I think this would be the perfect camping experience for anyone who’s either not into camping or hasn’t done it before.

In the evening, we saw a bunch of fireflies and watched the stars.

Going deeper

On the second day, we got the fanciest camping breakfast I’ve ever gotten - a noodle soup and pancakes. They really don’t mess around. Having spoken to a guy from another group, apparently, they’ve taken a lot of feedback on board, as initially they didn’t know what foreigners wanted from a tour. Over time made improvements such as switching out instant noodles for breakfast for proper noodles, and setting up compost toilets. From their overwhelmingly positive online reviews, that’s evident, too - it’s rare to see a company actually implementing its feedback.

The day started by putting our wet clothes back on, rafting into another cave, and swimming for a little while longer. The cave was called Ken Cave, named after a guy who discovered it. Ken was on an Oxalis tour in 2012, walking around the campsite, and felt the wind when going for a pee. From that, he discovered a whole cave that hadn’t been seen before. The British Caving Association was then flown in to survey the cave. They seemed to mention things relating to Europe with a lod of pride here, as if it’s synonymous with quality and expertise. They also did this with the safety equipment, which is mostly from Petzl, a French climbing company.

The cave formations inside were really cool. I was also really glad that the group only had 10 people in it, as the logistics of getting in and out of places could take a while.

After a lot more caving and swimming, we went back to the main lodge and got dispersed amongst homestays in the village. There’s a lot of involvement from the local communities at these tours. Partially, it might be due to the nature preservation laws in Vietnam being introduced and making people lose their livelihoods.

For example, my guide used to live from the jungle, selling the wood he chopped and the animals he caught. It’s now prohibited to destroy the rainforest or harm its animals, so he became a guide. He also told us that he hunted for squirrels and skunks. Joyce got a photo of a skunk up because she only knew the Mandarin for it, and after seeing the photo, the guide said “aah, very tasty!”.

After another dinner cooked by a local family, we went to a nearby lodge with the whole group for some drinks. It was great to go with locals as they showed us how they drink beer (with a huge chunk of ice in the glass, something that would get you crucified in Europe) and ordered a bunch of snacks. They also taught me a game that Joyce knew already, where you have to progressively pick up more rocks with your hand, throw them up, and while they’re in the air, pick up more of them. I was pretty abysmal, but got a masterclass from people who played it since birth. Let me know if you want a match.

Departure

The last day was very relaxed. We went to visit some local animal farms, including a bee farm. The honey from there was incredible. The Vietnamese people didn’t fancy cycling, so we did this by electric van with some older Aussie ladies. I didn’t want to miss out on the cycling, so I did some alone after. The surroundings were super serene, and all the kids would wave at me from their bikes and try to high-five me.

I’ve cycled a few times in Asia now, and it’s very entertaining to me how messed up some of the bikes are. The brakes barely work, if at all, the stands might randomly retract by themselves, and they all make crazy noises. I’m never taking my beat-up hybrid at home for granted.

After the cycling, the tour finished. I reflected on the tour, and honestly, my only complaint was that it was too good, with too many things planned and sorted for me. A good problem to have.

The Duck Stop

I met some people in my hostel who also wanted to visit the Duck Stop - a duck farm where you become a “duck leader” by bribing ducks with food.

The cycle over was amazing. I’ve loved hiring bicycles and just riding around in Vietnam, especially after getting jaded by motorbikes in Ha Giang. It’s probably now my favourite way to explore somewhere new.

(I didn’t realise how much I was panting in the video; it was a hot day).

After arriving at the Duck Stop, we were given straw hats and took turns feeding the ducks.

The activities slowly escalated - from dropping food at our feet and having the ducks peck our toes, to sprawling duck food over ourselves and getting a “duck massage” 🤨.

There was an obscene amount of ducks on the farm, and suddenly it made sense why there are so many restaurants in Phong Nha specialising in duck…

Overall, it was a fun time, and we even got to make some (duck-free) spring rolls after. It was worth a stop.

The Monkey Bridge

A little further from the Duck Stop, but in the same village, is the Monkey Bridge. It’s a thin bridge which you can try crossing on a bicycle, based on traditional Vietnamese improvised bridges (cầu khỉ). The rest of my group left as they didn’t fancy covering the extra distance by bicycle (the backpackers here tend not to be the adventurous type I met in India and Nepal), so I checked it out on my own.

The gist is that you pay the small entrance fee, get 3 tries to cross the bridge, and get awarded varying amounts of drinks depending on how many attempts it takes you to cross the bridge (if you cross it at all). Also, the bike doesn’t have brakes.

I didn’t manage to cross the bridge on any of my 3 attempts, falling spectacularly every time.

They gave me another, 4th go. Maybe they just got a kick out of seeing tourists make fools out of themselves. I managed to cross the bridge on this attempt, which felt great. Cycling around London for 3 years prepared me for this well.

Afterwards, I got to enjoy two drinks of my choice while chatting to the other punters and assessing how badly I hurt my right knee (it wasn’t too bad). It seemed like most people fell in right away, or in the case of the Dutch, got it on their first go.

Cycling back, I saw that other homestays and shacks offered their own quirky activities, perhaps trying to capitalise on the success of the Duck Stop. Some were less wholesome than others.

I was pretty chuffed with my useless achievements that night.

The island

I wanted to explore the island a little on the first day, but that wasn’t the best experience, as the island has basically become a construction site. I’ve never seen construction this rampant and widespread - everywhere you go on the island, you’re hearing drills and other power tools.

The most striking example of this development was the pier, with either side of it being filled with concrete and topped with soulless, copy-pasted buildings. I researched it as I was curious what’s going on, and this photo exemplifies exactly what I’m talking about, with the top photo showing Cat Ba around two years ago (the said buildings are now on top of the concrete):

A conglomerate called Sun Group is building a bunch of resorts around the island, and apparently expects the number of tourists on the island to quintuple. That left me unable to explore the island too much, so I took it easy. I ended up eating the best vegan pizza of my life, though, in the least likely of places (I got to that state again, where I got a little tired of local food and wanted something different).

I’ve got to respect the rate at which the construction is happening, though. The HS2 could never.

Deep water soloing (DWS)

I did all the activities I mention in this post with Cat Ba Climbing, but there are a few other companies with similar offerings.

There was a group of around 10 people doing DWS, including me. We got the boat out of the main island and got to one of the DWS spots. There aren’t too many such spots on the island, as the water below needs to be deep enough. There was a bit of a flow to the DWS process - the boat would approach the start of a route, a few people would climb onto the rock, the boat would swim off, and everyone who got on the rock would start climbing.

I thought I’d do some incredible climbing here, not having to care much for my safety, but I found the opposite to be true. I found climbing, knowing that I’d need to fall from like 6 meters after I’m done, terrifying. I was also afraid of cheese gratering down the rock (which isn’t so much the case with roped climbing) or landing weirdly in the water and injuring myself. I did a few runs and quickly decided it’s not my thing, but there was no pressure to keep climbing.

Here’s me climbing a bit:

Most of the people in the group loved it, but I found some comfort in the minority that weren’t too fond of this sort of climbing either. Things also didn’t get better with time - my muscles got tired, so my climbing got worse, and things only got harder.

If you’re an adrenaline junkie, I think you’d love DWS. I’m not, and doing DWS very much reminded me of that. In fact, I’ve never experienced such a prolonged adrenaline rush, and I really didn’t like the feeling. It was particularly bad after I fell a bit too much on my front, giving my upper body a slap. My body went pink after, and I got an anxiety-like feeling in my body for a solid hour, without actually feeling anxious. It was a strange feeling and nothing like I’ve ever experienced.

After DWS, we went to a floating homestay and had a tasty family-style dinner. The views were amazing here.

Kayaking in bioluminescent plankton

Bioluminescent plankton is visible in some parts of the world in the summer, including in Cat Ba. The plant emits a bright blue light when disturbed, acting as a defence mechanism by startling predators and attracting larger ones.

Technically, kayaking at night is in a legal grey area in Cat Ba, as too many tourists were getting lost. The local authorities might catch you if you try to kayak away from the coast at night, so to get around that, many organisers get people away from the coast before sunset.

Kayaking at night was really serene, a perfect contrast to DWS. We didn’t see anyone else on the water, apart from one bigger boat. As to the plankton, there were spots where it was particularly prevalent. There, the water would sparkle as we paddled. It looked really cool. It was really hard to catch it on video, but I managed to get a sliver of it in the video below.

After the kayaking, we got a speedboat back and went back to our accommodation. I had trouble sleeping that night as I was still so buzzed from the DWS.

Climbing

The next morning, we got up early to do some outdoor climbing. I’ve never done this before, having only bouldered outside before, and rope climbed inside. To our surprise, the crag was a short walk away from the centre of the town. I know some climbers who would dream of crags this easily accessible.

This time, we had a smaller group - me, two experienced climbers, and one guy who’s only ever bouldered. I paired up with the less experienced guy, who was also really chill - he works for a music label and has a few kids. He’s never belayed before, so we got a quick crash course as I was also pretty rusty.

The crag had some amazing rock formations, which were really fun to climb. The views from high up in the cave were also breathtaking. I didn’t love the fact that my life was in the hands of someone who’s just been taught how to belay 30 minutes prior and had no climbing qualifications, though - even under the supervision of one of the guides and with an auto-locking belay device (grigri), it felt really sketchy. The same goes for the other way around. I was sweating and focusing like crazy, trying not to kill the guy, especially with his kids waiting for him at home. Nothing bad happened in the end, but it was spooky.

I’m tempted to do a course when I’m back home to get properly qualified in belaying and to understand the safety equipment better. Climbing more inside might also help with confidence, as there are a lot of mental blocks that come with roped climbing, despite things being pretty safe.

I left Cat Ba feeling alive and also very grateful to have a few working limbs left.

I booked a tour to Sapa through my hostel back in Hanoi, as they offered various discounts then and sorted logistics for me (it’s really nice having a native have your back when bus schedules inevitably get changed and nobody on the helpline speaks English). I later learned that this, too, has its downsides. I had to constantly liaise with the hostel I booked the tour through on WhatsApp, as they didn’t tell me things ahead of time. Another learning experience.

On the first day, I was brought to the village of Ta Van by bike. There, I met with a local woman who seasonally works as a trekking guide, and joined a group of people who also booked onto the tour that day - a British girl, Becca, and two Russian guys. The Russian guys weren’t very talkative, even with each other. Luckily, Becca was really sound, and we ended up spending a good bit of time in Sapa together.

The guide’s name was Yeng. She’s part of the Black Hmong ethnic group in this part of Vietnam. Getting a local guide like this is part of the experience, and it supports the community when it’s not the season to plant rice. Yeng had a lot to share about life here and knew the trails well. Pretty much all other hikers had their own guides, and Yeng would interact with them as we hiked, which was very wholesome.

The hike started through a thick bamboo forest.

Later, the land flattened out, showcasing amazing vistas of the valley. Sadly, the pollution in this part of Vietnam is quite bad, which impacts the views. That’s partially due to burning rubbish, and partially due to it being slash-and-burn season in North Thailand and Laos at the time. Some people I talked here decided to cut their stays short because of this.

The whole time during the hike, we were entertained by Yeng’s stories and expertise. Her English wasn’t great, but she was trying hard. She also barely pronounced the last syllable of English words, so understanding her felt additionally rewarding.

We also had to get used to Yeng’s way of saying things. For example, she told us that in the evening we can shower together (I guess she meant that that’s collectively the time to take showers, not that we should shower together), and that breakfast is at 9 PM (meaning AM). The Russian guys really didn’t like that comment on showering together.

Yeng also giggled menacingly every time we asked for a photo with her.

The hikes in Sapa all seemed short when you look them up online, and now I can see why. It’s super hot, humid, and hilly here, so you build up a sweat and get tired quickly. I’ve not hiked in these conditions, and it’s very rewarding, but you need to be careful not to overcommit yourself. It also felt amazing to move around after the sedentary nature of the Ha Giang loop.

After the hike, we got back to the homestay and just chilled. Many other travellers were staying there, and the surroundings felt incredibly cosy. It was really easy to chat to people, and the homestay itself had a homely atmosphere.

In the evening, we went to a nearby bar, which was decorated in a very rustic manner. In a way, I felt comforted by how much like East London it felt, with the bar also serving craft ales on tap. Definitely one for the tourists, but many items on the menu were locally priced.

For my first round, I opted for a Vietnamese beer and an opium-infused shot. I was expecting something crazy from the shot, but it just tasted herbal.

The view from the bar in the evening was incredible. It probably had the best ambience I’ve experienced while travelling so far.

After a family-style dinner at the homestay (which served really good food) and chatting with more of the travellers, everyone went to bed. The homestays feel a bit like a treehouse, with most people sleeping communally on the same floor. It was almost like a sleepover.

On the second day, we did more hiking, taking a route higher up the valley. The hike was similar to the day before, with a little more elevation gain. We also encountered lots of kids on the way, as it was the weekend and they weren’t in school, who were all very keen to high-five us and regurgitate all the English they knew at us.

Since we were higher in the valley, we couldn’t see much because of the pollution. When it’s not burning season, it would be great to climb a higher peak here, perhaps Fansipan - the highest peak in Vietnam.

During the hike, I met up with some people I had met in Ha Giang, and we finished the hike together, with our guides chatting amongst themselves. Same old in the evening - chilling, eating, and drinking.

You can do the loop yourself, but there are also tens of companies that organise well-priced tours that travellers usually opt for. You also don’t need to ride the motorbike yourself - in fact, most travellers opt for an “easy rider”, which involves hiring a local driver for the duration and riding on the back of the bike. A lot of the fun of the loop is getting to know your driver. On social media, you can also find numerous accounts of people falling in love with them.

Cost-wise, an easy rider costs about £9.58 a day (without a tip, which people usually give). If you decide to drive yourself without an international license, you’ll be fined an amount that works out at double that per day. You can avoid further fines if you’re stopped again, though, by showing that you already paid the fine. It’s an interesting system.

I wanted to book the tour with Bong, having heard good things from friends, and because they seem to have a good balance between partying and exploring. Sadly, they were booked up for the next two weeks, so I went for Flipside instead. This is a smaller company, and I’ve heard good things from people who have recently done the tour. They also emphasised going off the beaten path and providing some variety in their activities, which appealed to me.

Getting ready

The night before setting off, I met everyone in my group at Flipside’s villa. I only later found that Flipside’s main selling point was nicer food and accommodation, which they definitely live up to. While I don’t mind slumming it and don’t want to get used to comfort, it was a huge upgrade from the packed dorms I’ve been staying in.

The average age in my group was somewhere in mid-to-late 20s, and I ended up getting pretty close to many people in the group, which is hard to do while backpacking. Ending up with a good group is seemingly where choosing the right company matters, as otherwise, the routes that most companies take are very similar.

Riding around

The days followed a similar structure - we got on the bike and drove to the next viewpoint or cafe, stopping every 45 minutes or so. The views around Ha Giang were breathtaking and varied a bit as we drove to different areas. I’ve never been anywhere with scenery like it; it’s a special place.

We also seriously lucked out on the weather, providing decent visibility (but not perfect, partially due to the pollution).

At a few points, we stopped for a dip in the waterfalls. After riding around in the hot, humid climate, this was incredibly refreshing.

During the breaks, the easy riders all hung out and smoked local tobacco (thuoc lao) from bongs. Many of them knew each other from when they were kids. My easy rider, Fo-o (which is definitely not how you spell his name, but that’s what it sounds like), sadly didn’t speak much English, but kept me safe.

We drove slower than other groups, which made me glad I went for Flipside, as accidents aren’t uncommon. We drove past two Vietnamese people who had crashed and were bleeding from the mouth on the side of the road. Despite this, the roads were in very good condition along the main road - there’s been a lot of investment into maintaining the roads here.

In the evenings, we stayed in cosy homestays and had family-style dinners. The views from some of the homestays were incredible.

The evenings usually involved family-style dinners and drinking quite a lot of happy water (a locally brewed spirit made from corn or rice), followed by karaoke. This was really entertaining when people started singing songs from their respective countries, including the easy riders.

I also sang a Polish disco polo song with a German girl in my group, Hanna, who has Polish parents. I’m afraid that footage can’t surface anywhere, though.

On one of the days, we also delivered some supplies to families living remotely. That involved buying a few live chickens in bags (they had their legs tied).

It turned out that the chicken was for eggs and not for meat, to everyone’s relief.

The final day

The last day was a bit of a wildcard. I opted for the 4-day tour, but there was an option to do 3 days also. Most companies keep you on the motorbike for the duration of the tour, but not Flipside. For their 4-day tour, we still finished the tour in 3 days, and on the fourth day, did a bunch of sidequests - swimming and diving in waterfalls, visiting an easy rider’s home, and swimming in a cave. I was pretty glad about this, as 3 days felt like plenty (more on that later).

In the easy rider’s home, we had more happy water and just chilled for a bit.

Also, a few other people and I tried the tobacco bong - thuoc lao. Usually, foreigners pass out when they try it, providing the easy riders with some entertainment. I didn’t find it too bad. The bong itself was very primitive, with no way to remove the stem, but it cooled the smoke down well. The high was akin to ones I’ve experienced after trying snus, although this time I didn’t throw up. As a non-smoker, I found myself pretty buzzed for a few minutes. The tobacco packets all have a photo of some dude:

Swimming in the cave was also super cool. I’ve not done anything like it, and having to squeeze through a tiny gap to get in to the cave made the whole thing feel lawless.

It’s not all roses

There’s one thing that I didn’t love about the loop - being a passenger princess started getting boring on the second day. The novelty of riding a motorbike in the countryside simply wore off. Also, having not worked for the views at all, I was also missing some sort of element of challenge. I love this aspect of hiking or skiing, for example, where you really have to work for a rewarding view, and you finish the day feeling accomplished. I didn’t get that here.

Aftermath

Many people find the Ha Giang loop to be a transformative experience, with it ending up being the main highlight of their travels. While I had a great time and met some cool people, it didn’t quite reach that level for me. Saying this, I’d love to try motorbike touring where I’m the one driving. I can see it being super fun getting a few friends together and taking things at your own pace, perhaps in one of the alternative loops. I’m thinking of maybe getting a motorbike license when I’m back home, just as a skill to have for things like this. We’ll see.

I’ve thought about it, and perhaps people like the loop as it’s a very accessible activity holiday, especially for people who don’t embark on such holidays often. If it acts as a springboard for people to get out of the city and explore their passions, then, honestly, it should absolutely be regarded as highly as it is. Or maybe I’m just bitter because my driver didn’t fall in love with me.

The night

During my stay in Hanoi, Surusuninghe was playing at Unmute (RA link). She’s an Aussie DJ, mostly playing bass-heavy club tracks, and dabbling in techno and electro. I’ve listened to a few of her sets before, so this was a perfect opportunity to finally get to see her perform live.

Entry was cheap, costing between £5-9 depending on how early you bought the ticket. The full lineup with set times was as follows, with Surusiunghe being the only real “big” name.

The curious thing here is that Surusinghe was on pretty early on in the night, quite a change from the usual 2/3 AM headline slots you get in Europe.

Pres

I found that a group was going to the same night on Nomadtable, so we met up beforehand to drink a little and get to know each other. The group ended up pretty eclectic, mostly consisting of travellers, but also a few locals. Most people were just looking for a motive, though, and didn’t go out often. I ended up talking to quite a few cool people, so I was looking forward to going out with them. Fuelled by a few bia hois and banh mis, I was ready for the night.

Arriving at Unmute

The club is across a busy road, and you’d be unlikely to bump into it by accident. Even more so, as there’s nothing outside hinting at the fact that it exists - the entrance is through a garage door that the door guy keeps closed, with only a neon sign with the club’s logo outside confirming that you’re in the right place.

I got my ticket scanned and went upstairs to the club, where one of the residents was coincidentally playing Trudge’s remix of Ferdinger by St. Nimmerlein - a track I discovered through one of Baby Pantera’s sets recently and had on repeat for a while:

It’s only later that I realised that there was no security going on whatsoever.

The club

The club is relatively small with a capacity of 300 people. It never quite felt packed, though, as many people were present on the huge rooftop bar at any given time. It was also properly air-conditioned to the extent that it was difficult to break a sweat. I’ve never quite reminisced about how sweaty you can get at Corsica Studios or Fold in the summer, and it’s the first time I found myself missing that aspect. There’s probably a middle ground.

The sound system was clear and precise, with quite a lot of sound uniformity across the dancefloor. It didn’t get as loud as some clubs I’ve been to, but it was a comfortable level (albeit with earplugs). I couldn’t complain about it.

The most interesting feature of the club, though, was the floating floor. In essence, the floor has a mechanical system underneath it, such that it moves as people on it dance. In reality, it felt to me like a sort of rigid trampoline, and frequently took me out of whatever trance I could get myself into as I found the floor either falling underneath me or rising up towards me. Unmute’s website describes it like so:

Unmute’s Sping-Lift is structured with acoustic springs, rockwool, soft rubber and cement. Mechanically, the floating floor system create a mattress-like bouncing floor. The springs and soft rubber layer partly carry the weight of every dancer, while it also reduces the vibration transmission to the building itself and surrounding neighbours. The cement layer reinforces and distributes weight across the floor surface, making each dance step floor feel effortlessly rhythmic and energetic, yet very sturdy.

I’m unsure if the floor’s ulterior motive is to reduce the volume perceived by neighbours, but I found it detracted a little, especially when the dancefloor got busier.

As to the lights, no notes - nice and subdued, tastefully matching the music.

The night

The residents warmed up the dancefloor well, mostly sticking to techno, but also incorporating elements of bass and trance. The standard of the residents seemed to match the standard of the club - everything felt proper.

Interestingly, the crowd was mostly foreigners, with a minority of the club being locals. Having spoken to some locals later, club culture is nowhere near as established as in Europe, with most young people listening to vinahouse and American rap. I heard about this before on RA Exchange’s episode with Eastern Margins, but it was super interesting to see it first-hand.

As the night progressed, I also found that this sort of night may be out of reach for many locals due to the costs involved. Small cans of beer cost at least 120k dong (£3.46, about quadruple what they do in bars), and even small cans of water cost 50k dong (£1.44), which you’re going to end up buying quite a few of over the night. There’s no alternative to getting water in the club, and tap water is not safe to drink.

Locals seemed to opt for nitrous oxide balloons instead of drinking, which were available from the bar for around 60k (£1.73) dong I believe. In fact, there was a group of a few people seemingly doing balloons all night at the back of the club, and not dancing an awful lot. Other substance-wise, the crowd was pretty tame, mostly opting for drinking, with the occasional whiff of weed. It was a novel sight not seeing a single swinging jaw.

Surusinghe’s set was fantastic, with great selections and energy.

She also played an edit of EsDeeKid’ds4 Raws, which the crowd surprisingly went crazy for (there might have been a good few British people in the club).

After Surusinghe’s set, many people left, but I stayed on for a bit as the remaining crowd was dedicated. It started feeling a bit like being in London again, although without sweat dripping from the ceiling.

After the night, I got a Grab bike back, although a walk wouldn’t have felt too unsafe either. At 4 AM, many people have started preparing food and setting up market stalls outside, so it felt busy despite shops being closed.

It was a really fun night, and I was glad to finally experience some good music after a month and a half of travelling. I’d love many aspects of this venue to be present more in Europe.

Backpacking starts now?

Vietnam is the first country in Southeast Asia I’ve been to, and things are very different here compared to central or southern Asia. In general, it’s a lot more touristy than anywhere I’ve been to in Asia, with a whole gamut of tourists - families, hikers, beach girlies, British lads looking for a pissup. Quite a change from the people I met so far.

As a side effect of all this, it’s harder to connect with people in the cities. I’ve chosen the best-rated non-party hostel in Hanoi, and most people in it are either travelling in groups, very young, or are on holiday and have their entire itineraries planned out.

I’ve not particularly helped myself by coming at the height of the season. That’s manifested in various ways, including hostels, theatre shows, and various tours getting booked up. Saying this, it’s also been entertaining seeing people queue around the block for the viral TikTok banh mi when you can get a comparable one from places opposite, where all the locals are watching the queue and giggling.

The hostel staff are much less friendly too. They were reluctant to book me to do the Ha Giang loop with a lesser-known company (I’m guessing as they’d get less commission), and I’ve had mysterious charges added when booking some tours, which I had to dispute. The hostel also has more rules than other places I’ve been to.

The locals here are different from those in South Asia, too. They seem a lot more used to tourism - I’ve only been asked for one photo over my 5 days in Hanoi. They’re also unlikely to chat to you as many people can’t speak English, so I’ve had to get good at miming and using Google Translate. Many people seem happier, too, spending their days on low plastic stools that line every street, taking turns at singing karaoke. In the evenings, the aunties congregate near the lake to dance in the evenings while the uncles shout at each other over card games. All of this is soundtracked by the high-pitched sounds of vinahouse.

Taking it easy

I spent the first few days hanging out with Rain, a friend from secondary school and university. She’s working remotely part-time and travelling with her brother, who’s on a gap year before uni. I’ve not seen her since before COVID, so we had plenty to talk about. It was great to see a familiar face and have conversations that went deeper than the usual “how long are you travelling for? Where are you going next? Where have you travelled?”.

We checked out the famous train street, which is a long street lined with cafes that trains go past every once in a while. I’ve seen videos of this online, and I think they must’ve tamed it down a little, as the train went by very slowly.

We also checked out a few galleries together - the Fine Art Museum and the Thang Long art gallery. These were the best galleries I’ve been to in Asia, with Thang Long in particular showcasing inspiring Vietnamese pieces in a well-designed space.

We also went to the restaurant that Anthony Bourdain and Obama ate at in the Parts Unknown episode featuring Hanoi - Bún chả Hương Liên. The restaurant didn’t let this get to their head, offering dishes at local prices and efficient service, resulting in a lack of queue. The table that Obama and Bourdain ate at is also now enclosed in glass. We both went for the Combo Obama, featuring the restaurant’s signature dish - Bun Cha. It’s barbecued pork served with noodles and a dipping sauce

It was the best Bun Cha I had in Hanoi.

Food

The food in general has been incredible in Hanoi, and I was glad to book onto Ella’s foor tour as recommended by an ex-colleague (thanks Agrita!) to see where the locals eat. This was a highlight of Hanoi - the guide was funny and showed us a huge variety of dishes. My favourites were Miến Trộn (glass noodle salad with fish and tofu), fresh spring rolls, and fresh jackfruit.

We finished the evening drinking local beer - bia hoi. It’s always served in glasses that look kinda dirty, is weak at around 3%, and very cheap at 15k dong (43p). I ended up drinking a fair bit of it in Hanoi, and it being low strength meant you easily drink a lot. The low strength keeps you surprisingly hydrated, though, which is great for the hangover.

Coffee

While being into coffee is the only thing missing from me to fully fit the East London stereotype, I’ve been sure to try all of the types that are unique to Vietnam. I’m sorry to all the coffee snobs reading this - I’m afraid I won’t talk much about the beans or roasting temperatures, but whether it was tasty or not.

While coffee is popular in Vietnam, locals rarely drink it as it’s very expensive. Given this, many of the coffees here taste like desserts and are twice or thrice the strength you expect in the West, as they’re mostly drunk for special occasions. They’re also traditionally dairy-free, as Vietnamese cuisine traditionally doesn’t use any dairy.

The most popular types are:

• Egg coffee: egg yolks whipped into condensed milk on top of coffee

• Coconut coffee: coffee with condensed milk and coconut cream

• Salted coffee: coffee with salted cream. It tastes a little like caramel.

My favourite was probably the coconut coffee.

Motorbiking around Hanoi

It’s likely I’ll want to hire a scooter in Asia, so I went for an automatic bike lesson with Chicks n Bikes. Riding a scooter around Hanoi might seem insane, but after a few pointers from the locals on e.g., navigating roundabouts, it wasn’t too difficult.

I learned on a 100cc bike and found their teaching style to be fantastic. After covering everything, we had about an hour left, so we rode around Hanoi covering different road types. I was pretty proud of myself, having not ridden a car for nearly 10 years, and generally being exceptionally bad at new things.

The most difficult parts of the lesson for me were riding on the right-hand side and not treating the motorbike like a bicycle (for example, not leaning when turning and using my mirrors instead of turning my body). It never really got dicey - amongst the Hanoi chaos, you can usually blend in with the other bikers, or just slow down until things feel safe again. I kind of want mirrors on my bike at home now.

Having travelled in Vietnam a little more, I’m glad I took the lesson, as it seems like every other traveller has a story of riding a scooter with no experience, having a minor accident, and seriously knocking their confidence.

Water puppet show

Water puppet shows are a traditional Vietnamese art form where puppet shows are performed in water. They’re cheap and pretty short, so I popped in for one. I’m glad I did, as it ended up pretty quirky.

Eating dog meat

Dom, a friend from home, travelled to Vietnam two years ago and ate dog. I didn’t think that this would be easily accessible to a foreigner, so I’ve been curious since and wanted to try it myself. While I don’t eat much meat at home and primarily cook myself vegan dishes, I do like indulging in different cultures.

I’m aware that eating dog meat is a controversial topic, so I won’t get too much into the ethics of it. The way I see it, if you eat animals already, it seems a bit silly to take a moral high horse and draw the line at not eating the furry ones. While you can make a point about supply chains for more exotic meats being problematic, the supply chains for meat that’s widely societally acceptable can also be dubious.

I started by researching dog meat restaurants online, and went to two that both ended up being closed. One had a missing dog poster outside it…

Searching for “dog restaurant” in Vietnamese on Google Maps was more fruitful, so I went to the one that was the closest to me. Coincidentally, that was also the one that Dom went to two years prior - has business been booming?

The restaurant was easy to locate, with spit-roasted dogs being presented outside. I won’t embed the photo here as some people might find it to be too much, so you can take a look at it here if you’re brave.

I asked the owners for a tiny plate of dog meat through Google Translate, paid 200k dong (£5.74), and proceeded through the corridor lined with plastic bottles full of black and red liquid to arrive in the dining space. A few Vietnamese people were digging into their respective servings of dog.

There are a few things to note here. Firstly, 200k dong is a lot, around quadruple what you’d expect from a local restaurant. I wish they had given me a smaller portion, but oh well. Dog meat in general is considered a premium meat, so as a foreigner, you won’t accidentally be served it. Secondly, the restaurant was in someone’s home and was run by a family. Nothing felt off here compared to a normal restaurant.

After a few minutes, my dog meat and dog sausage arrived with some sides.

I’m not going to lie, it took some courage for me to decide to try it. Conditioning as to what meat is and isn’t acceptable apparently runs very deep. As to how it tasted - chewy, somewhere between pork and lamb. The sausage fell apart as I bit into it; it was greasy and metallic-tasting. Overall, pretty vile. I ate a tiny bit and ended up giving the rest to the Vietnamese guys at another table, aided by Google Translate. They seemed pretty happy to receive such a coveted gift.

Initially, I was a little bit afraid that I would love dog meat and would spend the rest of my life chasing that dragon, but that won’t be the case. After leaving the restaurant, I was very in my head, seriously questioning my meat-eating habits. I opted for a vegetarian buffet for dinner. In the coming days, I also found myself eating significantly less meat, and the image of the spit-roasted dogs now comes into my mind every time I see a dog. I didn’t envision this innocent escapade to trigger so much soul-searching.

If dog’s not your thing, there are also restaurants serving rat, cat, turtle, and snake in Hanoi. I currently have no desire to indulge in these, but the option’s there.

Other bits and bobs

I did a bunch of other things in Hanoi. The others that stick out are:

• Cooking class with Apron Up - we made a bunch of dishes, including egg coffee. I’ve really been liking doing cooking classes as I travel, and will probably continue in each new country I go to.

• Vietnamese Women’s Museum - a super interesting museum, focusing on Vietnamese women and various traditional customs throughout history. The most interesting factoid I found is that calling babies is a big deal in Vietnam, and in some traditions, babies are given a temporary ‘ugly’ name in the hope that evil spirits will then not want the baby.

• Hanging out on beer street - beer street is Hanoi’s main party street, rammed with bars and karaoke spots. You can go out every night, and many backpackers do. Going out in popular spots like this isn’t really my thing, but I thought I’d indulge on one of the nights. It was good fun, and I won the trust of some Dutch people by attempting No Hook 3 by ADF Samski on karaoke with them (it’s a Dutch track that blew up on Twitter like 6 years ago). The night quickly ran out of steam, though - I’ll be sticking to my sweaty underground clubs, I think.

I’ll cover some of my highlights of Kathmandu here.

Nepal’s general vibe

Nepal is a bit of a unique place, as most people come here to hike or for spiritual reasons. Given this, I got along with a lot of the backpackers, as most were here to hike or meditate, as opposed to drinking or going to high street clubs, which you get in parts of Asia.

There is another side to this, though, which I experienced when going to a few bars here. Nepal also attracts the hippy types that are quick to jump into conversations on anti-vaxxing and how the secret lizard societies are controlling us. Not my vibe, but luckily, these people were in the minority.

The food is also great here, with brilliant Indian, Nepali, and Chinese restaurants on every street corner. I’ve probably eaten my bodyweight in momos by now, and I’ve still not had enough.

Teenage tourist gouging Olympics

I had a strange interaction on the first day in Kathmandu. After leaving my hostel, two young Nepali guys on the street asked if I wanted to go to a temple, as there was some festival on. It sounded cool, but I felt particularly tired that morning, so I took one of their numbers and got on with sorting hiking supplies.

Later on, I was looking for a lunch spot on Google Maps, and a young Nepali guy donning fake Fear of God asked if he could help. He didn’t seem like a scammer, so I let him take me to a restaurant that he eats at. Admittedly, it was a good suggestion - the restaurant served good Nepali food, and only locals were there. As is customary for me in Nepal, the waitress was also photographed serving me as the food came out.

I found out a little more about the guy - his name was Abhey, he was 20, doing a 10-year (!) artist apprenticeship in a local painting school. He’s never had a formal education before that, so I thought that maybe he just wanted me to buy him food or a drink. Fine with me, although I wish he were honest from the get-go.

When we left, he helped me find a few shops that I was looking for (you can’t trust Google Maps in India or Nepal - half the places don’t exist any more). We bumped into a few other young Nepali guys who had a brief exchange with Abhey, including the ones who wanted to take me to the temple in the morning. I asked him if they were his friends, and he said that they’re scammers who take you to the temple, saying that there’s a festival every day, and then try to sell you hash. Curious.

The interaction ended with the kicker - he took me to a shop that sells his works, reciting a bit of a spiel to try and get me to buy something. I was used to this from India, and it made the whole meeting feel very disingenuous. I feigned interest and left. Admittedly, some of the works were impressive, although hardly unique - there are hundreds of shops like this in Kathmandu alone, all selling similar works.

I checked my phone, and I had a few messages from the temple guy from the morning.

It all came together - there seemed to be groups of Nepali kids walking around Kathmandu’s tourist district, getting friendly with foreigners to try and sell them something. The other guys must have gotten jealous that Abhey managed to speak with a foreigner that morning. During my stay in Nepal, I’ve talked to many other travellers who had nearly identical experiences.

Either way, I wish Abhey all the best. I truly hope that he’s not getting exploited, because if what he said is true, then spending 10 years on a course painting works that are in low demand, requiring you to guilt-trip foreigners, sounds like a questionable use of your time.

Holi festival

I lucked out and came back to Chitwan just in time for Holi. Holi is a Hindu festival celebrating spring, love, and new life. The photos of your cousin from her gap yah where she’s covered in paint were probably taken during Holi.

I didn’t know what to expect, but the hostel manager said he’d organise something for the travellers. Apparently, the government imposed some restrictions for this Holi, such as no music on the streets, due to the upcoming general election in Nepal. Amongst the candidates was a 35-year-old ex-rapper, ex-engineer, that the locals seemed to like - Balen Shah. He has some progressive ideas for Nepal, and managed to win the election in the end - it’s an exciting time for Nepal.

Holi started pretty tame, with the hostel organising a band playing some crowd-pleasers (although I’m at my limit with how many times I can hear Take Me Home Country Roads in a hostel setting). Bags of coloured powder were given out that you were meant to rub or throw on other people while saying “Happy Holi”. Even the hostel cat didn’t get let off lightly.

Once the band finished, we went to one of the more popular squares in Kathmandu. On the way, the locals threw water balloons at us, shot us with water guns, and threw buckets of water out of their balconies. It was carnage.

In the square, everyone continued to paint each other while wishing each other happy Holi. Maybe I drank the Kool-Aid a little here, but the festival felt very wholesome, with people you’ve never met before and have no relation to coming up to you to wish you well. I’ve not experienced any other festival like it.

The square quickly turned into a mosh, which my 26-year-old knees are not built for any more. We retreated through the square and got a bus to our lunch spot.

At lunch, we had a great view of the city and ate traditional Nepali food. I ate a lot of mashed rice and Nepali curry, which was washed down by a local rice wine.

I’m really glad I got to experience Holi, although I massively sympathise with the hostel’s cleaners. I’m still finding remnants of the paint in my clothes and backpack.

Blind Massage

Some backpackers told me about a massage place in Kathmandu where they employ blind masseuses. It’s called Seeing Hands. I was very curious about this, partially because I wanted a massage, and partially because it sounded like a good way to support disabled people - seeing a lot of beggars in Kathmandu, I’m unsure if the Nepali government supports them much otherwise. One of the guys I hiked with is a physical therapist, and he also got a massage there. I was further intrigued as he said that the masseuse made “no mistakes” during his massage.

I went for the sports massage, and it was incredible, aside from the fact that I felt like I had just gone through a rolling press. The masseuse managed to find some knots that I didn’t know I had and work them through effectively. I went for a 2-hour massage, which seemed excessive, but I wanted to see what a longer one would be like. Also, the massage costs £10 per hour, which is ridiculous. In the end, 2 hours didn’t feel like too long, and I made sure to give a handsome tip. I feel like I have a new back.

Cooking Class

A guy I met in my hostel recommended a cooking class from the 2 Sisters Cooking School. Having some time before my next flight, I went for it. I’ve also been loving the Nepali cuisine and wanted to learn how to make some dishes from a local.

I ended up alone in the class, which was pretty cool as I got to ask the teacher a lot of things. The class started by going to the market for the ingredients of my chosen dishes - kwati (Nepali bean soup), dal bhat, and chocolate momos.

The teacher was great, and the food ended up being delicious. Get ready for me to bring momos to every function.

Landmarks

I’m very much templed out at this point, but Kathmandu had two temples I wanted to check out, which seemed unique. The first was Swayambhunath, dubbed the monkey temple. The temple was cool, but I was more interested in the hundreds of monkeys it was home to. I’m easily entertained by seeing monkeys going about their business.

The more interesting temple to me was the Pashupatinath temple - a Hindu temple where the deceased are cremated outside around the clock. The idea of going to a temple like this seems pretty morbid, but I was curious. Indeed, people were brought out onto the riverbank in front of the public, wrapped in cloth, had their faces exposed, and got embalmed by their relatives before getting cremated in front of everyone on the riverbank.

There’s a real sense of serenity I felt visiting this temple. While being surrounded by Buddhism in Nepal and having the concept of rebirth on my mind, seeing a body get burned didn’t seem so shocking and made me placidly aware of my own mortality.

I specifically came to the temple in the evening to make the nightly ritual - the Aarti. During it, various Hindu teachings were read, and devotees performed a ritual heavily utilising candles and incense. In the dark, it had a real mesmerising energy about it.

By the way, the fire in the back on the left is someone being cremated.

Bouldering

Having not exercised my upper body since leaving London, I decided to check out the local climbing gym. After paying the entrance, boot hire, and chalk hire fee of £3, I was greeted by a humble climbing wall offering bouldering, top-roping, and lead routes.

The routes were fun, although the holds were pretty dirty, and routes using similar colours were set next to each other. Part of the challenge here was figuring out which hold is in part of which route (is the highlighter yellow route part of the Homer Simpson yellow route?). It was nice to pop in, but I wouldn’t come to Nepal for indoor bouldering.

Farewell Nepal

I loved my time in Nepal, and I’d love to be back. It’s been a while since I was genuinely impressed by a country, and honestly, I started wondering if it would happen again. Nepal managed it.

I’ve already booked my hostel in Hanoi, and I’m feeling like the next chapter of my travels will be very different to India in Nepal. The Hostelworld chats have about 20 times as many people in them as in Nepal, and many of the hostels pitch happy hours, rooftop pools, and pub crawls. I can always come back, although the only thing missing for me in Nepal was a good music scene. I’m excited for the rest of Asia to make this up for me.

Why the Langtang valley?

While researching hikes in Nepal a little, I was a little spoiled by choice. Most of the popular hikes seem to take around 2-3 weeks to complete, and while I love hiking, the longest I’ve hiked consecutively was 4 days in Kyrgyzstan. I didn’t know if I wanted to commit to a timeframe triple that.

I’ve not heard of the Langtang valley before my trip, but it seemed like a good shorter alternative to the longer routes. I chose it for a few reasons:

• It’s a good duration, taking around 8 days of hiking with transport on either side.

• It wasn’t too far from Kathmandu compared to alternatives.

• It’s not got a road on the side of it, compared to e.g. Annapurna Base Camp and Annapurna Circuit.

• It exists because it’s supposed to be a beautiful hike, unlike, e.g. Everest Base Camp, which seems to only be a popular route because it takes you up the highest peak in the world - not necessarily because it’s an enjoyable route.

• I could do it solo without a guide.

Hiking solo?

I wanted to hike alone as I haven’t done it before, and I wanted to have the experience of trekking without a guide, to compare to the hiking I did in Kyrgyzstan. Technically, from April 2023, foreigners need to trek with a guide in Nepal. The rule isn’t always being enforced on the ground, though.

Having researched a little, I was fully prepared to complete the hike on my own. The guide to hiking Langtang by Going the Whole Hogg was fantastic for this, arming me with all I needed, including detailed offline maps. The website is run by a couple who seem to hike a lot, and their guides seem to be the best you can find for hiking in Nepal. Their YouTube channel also has some great companion guides and cinematic montages of the hikes.

Having spent some time in Nepal, I found that many backpackers are keen to join in on plans at short notice. This is massively eased by chats in the Hostelworld app, which is a platform for booking hostels. A few days before setting off, I had a slight change of heart and sent a message to a chat in the Hostelworld app asking if anyone wanted to join me on the hike. If nobody replied, I’d have just done the hike alone. As luck would have it, I ended up in a group with 6 other travellers, all setting off on the same day. Everything worked out, and our little group got along great.

Sorting hiking gear in Kathmandu

The Thamel district in Kathmandu is home to most of the tourist accommodation and hiking shops in Kathmandu. Every other shop seems to be a hiking shop, so the choice is immense. It somewhat feels like the Mecca of hiking gear, letting you buy or hire very high-quality gear for ridiculously low prices.

To narrow things down, I got all I needed from Goreto Gear Traders, as recommended by the online guide I was using for the trek. It has an exceptionally good rating on Google Maps (5 stars with nearly 1000 reviews), and I can completely see why - the staff are super helpful, not pushy with selling you anything, and there’s no haggling. No haggling is a real breath of fresh air in Asia - you never know if you’re getting a tourist price or the local price when buying something, and the constant haggling is exhausting. In the end, I sorted everything in about 15 minutes, and ended up paying £65 for:

• A packable down jacket

• A thermal top and bottoms

• A sleeping bag

• A hiking pole

• Gloves

• A long-sleeve t-shirt

• Hiking socks

• Microspikes

Thankfully, a lot of the gear was fake Arc’Teryx. As every Zoomer hiker knows, half of the joy of hiking is looking cool and appealing to your hypebeast past.

After leaving the shop, I realised I should have really rented most of the equipment as I won’t need much of it for the rest of my travels, but the prices were so low that it completely slipped my mind. Luckily, it was easy enough to sell a lot of the gear on to other travellers, hiking shops, or donate it.

The hike begins!

To get to the first village, Syabrubesi, we took a minibus that was being fixed right up until a few minutes before we departed. There were a few other groups of hikers with us, and I got to talk to one of the guides from another group. The conversation started with him berating me for not taking a guide or porter as “those could have been someone’s jobs”. This made some sense, as unemployment in Nepal is at nearly 11% (climbing up to 20% amongst young people), so many people are keen to be guides or porters. Point taken, though - don’t talk to the other guides or porters about not having a guide or a porter. The guy’s motivations were a bit interesting, though, saying that his favourite hike is Everest Base Camp because the guides and porters get paid a lot for working it. The other guides we met were much more chill. I guess this guy was just aggressively financially motivated.

After getting to Syabrubesi, it was early afternoon, so we decided to set off right away. Usually, people spend the night here before setting off, but that’s one of the pros of not having a guide - we could just decide to set off when we wanted to.

The first day was pretty scenic, mostly going through small villages and passing grazing goats and yaks. There were many teahouses along the way, allowing us to buy hot food, snacks, and drinks. Water was never an issue either - there were taps in most villages that you could fill up your water with for free, and sanitise it with water purification tablets. The tablets made the water taste a little like chlorine, but admittedly, I got a little fond of the taste after getting back to Kathmandu. When I tasted chlorine, I knew that the water was safe.

On the first night, we stayed in a village called Pairo, which is not included in many itineraries. That too is one of the great things about not having a guide - we could stay where we wanted, and not where the guides got commission for taking hikers.

The view from Pairo was also amazing.

In general, the lower villages, such as Pairo, didn’t have great amenities, so we had cold bucket showers outside and didn’t have electricity in our rooms. This wasn’t an issue for anyone, though, as while hiking, you’re usually used to cold food, a shoddy tent, and showering in rivers. In some ways, this felt like a luxury. Paradoxically, the villages improved the higher we got up, despite there not being a road. The reason for this is that much of the valley was destroyed after the April 2015 Nepal earthquake, prompting the higher, larger villages to be rebuilt using materials that were flown in. In the higher villages, we usually got to stay in large buildings which had hot showers inside and electricity.

Saying this, food prices increased as we went up, as everything now gets delivered by horse or on foot. The food options were surprisingly diverse, with the teahouses providing fairly expansive menus. The staple while hiking in Nepal is Dal Bhat - rice, lentil dhal, and various additions such as pickles, curries, and salads. In essence, it’s a Nepali thali. What’s special about this meal is that you can get seconds of everything. I tend to eat significantly more than most people (I’m not sure where all of it goes), so this meal ticked all of the boxes for me - big portions, ideally a veggie source of protein, and it needs to be tasty. For vegan and vegetarian hikers, Nepal is a fantastic destination.

The menus also usually had varieties of chow mein, thukpa (Nepali soup), and pasta with sauces that would make an Italian weep. We ordered a “pizza” one time, and the Italian girl in my group (Sara) was really unimpressed.

Not having a guide also meant we got to talk to the locals a lot, which was a nice touch. They were quite keen to recommend teahouses in other villages owned by their relatives or family members, usually letting us stay at them for free if we ate breakfast and dinner there. Saying this, we were hiking at the start of the season, so it’s possible that once the teahouses get busier, the locals are less keen to make such deals.

Going higher

As we traversed further iron bridges, the forest opened up, and the river got closer to us.

We stayed at a teahouse with particularly friendly locals here in a village called Lama Hotel. There, we had the atrocity that was the Snickers Momo - the Nepali deep-fried Snickers. The Scots aren’t so slick.

The owner of the teahouse, Karmu, was very excited to have such a large group of people eating lunch at her teahouse and recorded what she called a “TikTop” of us:

@pasangfriendly💖💖

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I’ve lost count of how many promotional videos and photos for Nepali restaurants I’m in now; it seems to happen every other day that I’m in Nepal.

Being so close to the river, we could finish our second day with an ice-cold dip:

The subsequent day was a little mistier, obscuring most views. It was a bit cooler, too, which was welcome after two days of pretty sweaty hiking. It also made everything look like it’s out of Silent Hill.

We trialled a local speciality at one of the teahouses - sea buckthorn juice. They serve it hot, and it tastes like a more sour, lighter orange juice. Incredibly refreshing after a few hours of hiking.

Arriving at Kyanjin Gompa - the highest village

As we got higher, the landscape flattened out, making way for larger villages and Buddhist landmarks. We passed many Buddhist temples, shrines, and stupas.

The highest village homed what I was keeping telling the group about, and which became a bit of a running joke - the yak cheese factory. I was expecting a bit more glamour to it all, but the owner barely spoke English and couldn’t show us how the cheese was made.

We bought a few hundred grams of the cheese each to fuel us for the upcoming summits. The cheese itself tasted and looked very similar to cheese made from cow’s milk, except it had a stronger smell.

Summiting Kyanjin Ri (4700m)

There are two peaks in Langtang that people frequently summit - Kyanjin Ri at 4700m, and Tserko Ri at 4985m. I was keen to do both, but most of the group wanted to just do the higher one and get down. Luckily, one of the guys in my group (Tije from the Netherlands - I got in contact with him as he hiked with the people I met in Chitwan) was to hike the lower one as he had to leave and catch a flight in a few days. The conditions weren’t ideal, as it gets misty in the afternoon, but we thought we’d go for it and have the whole mountain to ourselves.

The hike involved constant elevation gain but nothing too technical, although the altitude started getting me a little here, resulting in a light headache. Still, this was a great result compared to hiking in Kyrgyzstan with a headache for 3 days, and it only worked as additional acclimatisation. We made it to the top in great time.

Sadly, the views were nothing to write home about.

I had quite a few seconds of dal bhat that evening.

Summitting Tserko Ri (4985m)

Tserko Ri was the highlight of the hike, being the highest peak in the valley. It can be a little treacherous towards the top, as it can be snowy, and it takes anywhere between 7-8 hours to climb, but we were well prepared. We set off at 5 AM, making it one of the earliest hikes I’ve ever done. This was well worth it, as you didn’t get too sweaty since it was chilly, and we were rewarded with some incredible views of the nearby mountains. Hiking with a headtorch also wasn’t an issue.

The views further developed as the sun came out, glazing the peaks in an amber glow.

We decided to take the longer, less-travelled route up the mountain with the hopes of it being a more enjoyable experience. Sadly, it being a less popular route, nobody had made trails in the snow for a while before we arrived, so we had to traverse quite a lot of waist-deep snow.

This was a bit of a sticky point in the hike. Stepping over the snow seemed dangerous, as we didn’t know what was underneath. Some of us wanted to turn back, but we decided to take it slowly and found ways to safely check how the snow in front of us was. Fuelled by yak cheese and the various varieties of nuts I bought in Kathmandu, I felt unstoppable.

The perseverance was well worth it, with all of us reaching the summit.

The views here were amazing. Being amongst all these prayer flags never felt better.

This was the highest elevation I’ve ever hiked to, and it felt surprisingly exhilarating. It felt a little like I shouldn’t be there, with the wind being so strong and the bottom of the valley being so far away. As cliché as it sounds, you really do feel on top of the world.

The way down was a lot more chill, with us deciding to opt for the steeper route down as the long one took us a while to get up. It was a little icy on the way down, so I put on microspikes, which I’ve never used before. I loved hiking in these; every step felt super secure as the spikes gripped the ice.

From the photo, you can also see that I’ve done the entire hike in trail runners. Many of the people in my group were sceptical, doubting that I could summit Tserko Ri in these, but it wasn’t an issue. Don’t let Big Boot get the best of you.

It started getting misty on the way down, making way for some really cool views.

To reward ourselves after the 9-hour hike, we went to the local bakery. The bakery in Kyanjin Gompa serves perhaps the best chocolate cake I’ve ever had, and I don’t have a sweet tooth. Maybe the secret ingredient is yak milk.

The descent

The descent felt very relaxed, allowing us to see another view of the valley. Initially, I was a little unsure about going on a trek that’s not circular, as we had to backtrack, but the valley felt like a different place when going in the other direction. It was also super rewarding to effortlessly pass all the points that we struggled with hiking up before. The descent was also quite misty on one of the days, resulting in more incredible views.

There were 2 small highlights on the way down - the best Masala tea I’ve ever had, and yak yoghurt. I’ve been asking for yak yoghurt in every teahouse that advertised it outside, but nowhere seemed to have it. We got lucky on the descent, and one teahouse had it, but it was pretty unimpressive. It just tasted sour.

We stayed at Karmu’s place on the way down again, a situation she commemorated by recording another TikTop with us:

@pasangfriendly @pasangfriendly ♬ original sound - HOZANA DANCE STUDIO

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After two days of descent, we got to the starting village again. To celebrate, I got some homemade rice wine called Raksi with Ollie (a Brit in my group). The guy in the cafe laughed at us when we got it, and it was for good reason - it tasted like an unrefined spirit. For 50p a glass, we couldn’t complain much, though.

Trek costs

A few people asked me about the costs of this hike, which I’ll try to roughly break down. Aside from the costs of gear and any snacks you might bring with you, they looked as follows:

• Trekking permit: 3000 NPR (£15.36)

• Transport to and from the starting point: 2000 NPR (£10.24)

• Food: 2000 NPR (£10.24) - 3000 NPR (£15.36) per day

• Accommodation: 0 NPR - 1000 NPR (£5.12) per night

• Yak cheese: priceless

For the whole 7 days of trekking and two days of transport either side, I paid around £140.

Having calculated it, I can’t quite believe the costs were so low. If you were to book a guided tour of the Langtang Valley online, the prices would be around triple. Saying this, I’d only recommend going without a guide and booking things yourself if you’ve hiked a bit before.

Final thoughts

This hike was easily one of the best hikes I’ve ever done. The scenery was incredible, the food was amazing, and staying in teahouses made it easy to keep hiking for many days. I’d love to be back and hike more in Nepal.

If you enjoy hiking, I’d really recommend coming here. There’s a lot going on in Nepal in terms of its development, and tourism feels like a great way to support the country. You also don’t need to figure everything out before coming here - there are hiking shops on every street corner, and the locals are keen to help without expecting anything in return.

Either way, no matter how much you prepare, you’ll always be passed by a Nepali guy on the trail who’s wearing jeans, flipflops, a tiny backpack, and a fake Chrome Hearts t-shirt, all whilst blasting Nepali reggaeton, while you’re at your limit. They build them differently here.

KK seems to be the most well-connected guy in Nepal, being able to book just about anything at short notice for an exceptionally good price. For this tour, we were quoted 225 USD for a pretty rammed itinerary (rafting, safari, jungle trekking, canoeing), with comparable tours online going for triple that. I imagine that by organising everything with locals and no middlemen, he can keep the prices low while ensuring that people get paid normal amounts. I don’t think I could get the price this low if I booked this all myself. This seems to be a common occurrence in Nepal - western companies charge a hefty premium for having an online presence and advertising budget. Just coming here and booking something on the spot seems to be the way to do it. If you ever come to Nepal, ask me to connect you with KK - he’ll sort you out.

The plan was a very spontaneous one, which is something that doesn’t come easily to me (although I’m trying to get better at this). After experiencing some anxiety-induced analysis paralysis in Kathmandu’s tourist district, I texted Max and agreed. It felt like it would be nice to have everything sorted for me for the next few days. I’ve also never done a proper safari or seen much Asian wildlife, so this opportunity seemed great.

While backpacking, you end up making plans with people you have just met without knowing much about them. I’ve had a few situations in the past where I ended up stuck with someone I didn’t quite get along with, which always calls for an awkward time. There was a risk that this would happen with Max, but he seemed easygoing, so I went for it. Luckily, Max was super sound, and we got along great.

Day 1 - Rafting

We came to the rafting spot by bus, which was also on the worst road I’ve ever been on. The quality of some of the roads in Nepal is shocking, and even Max mentioned that they’re the worst roads he’s experienced (and he’s seemingly travelled everywhere). Every few minutes, we got sent down a bump that sent everyone flying a few centimetres in the air. Morbidly, this was also the road on which a bus crashed a few days prior, killing 19 people. We actually rafted past the wreckage a little later on, and the Nepalis we rafted with helped pull the survivors and bodies out of the bus. The bus alternatives here aren’t great either, however. Nepal Airlines, for example, has an appalling safety record and is banned from various airspaces. They’ve even sacrificed goats on the runway in the past to fix a Boeing 757. Surviving every journey here makes you really feel alive.

We did white water rafting for a few hours with a bunch of guys who were somewhere between the ages of 18 and 20. There were 6 of them and 2 of us; I suppose there was nothing going on in the village that day, so many of them came just to kayak around. The head kid gave us a quick safety rundown, and we were off. No security waivers or anything - just if the boat flips and all our stuff gets scattered, put your feet downstream, and someone will help. The kids also let me and Max swim around in one-person kayaks, which the head kid seemed a little stressed by, but it was fine. I’ve not been in a one-person kayak before, and those things really react to your smallest movement.

After finishing the rafting, a guy who didn’t speak English was waiting in a Jeep to drop us off at our hotel. I didn’t get a photo as I didn’t have my phone on me, but it was a Tata-branded Jeep with just about the worst front-row seat setup imaginable. Sitting in the middle, the gear stick was in my crotch, and my right foot was narrowly next to the clutch. Every time the driver switched gears, he brushed my balls with the gearstick and grazed my foot with the clutch while seeming completely unfazed. Asian engineering.

We stayed in a pretty nice hotel close to the river, which was a lovely break from hostel dorms.

Sadly, as you can see from the photo, the smog is bad here despite being out of the city. The Nepali recycling plants (pictured below) might be to blame.

Jokes aside, people seem to love burning plastic here. It’s partially a problem of a lack of recycling provisions, and partially a cultural one - people are just used to burning their rubbish. Even while I was hiking later in my trip, I saw signs in the mountains encouraging people to recycle their plastic instead of burning it. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Day 2 - Travel to Chitwan

We met a group of 4 other travellers in the hotel who were also on a tour organised by KK. They rafted a day before us, but their raft capsized, resulting in two of them having a little drink of the river water, making them fall sick for a day. I’m not too surprised, as the river is also a rubbish dumping ground. We travelled to Chitwan in style, partially by bus and partially by the boot of a Jeep.

The hotel here was a little less extravagant and was surrounded by some curious flora.

We went for a little walk here and had beers by the lake, which is also home to omnivorous crocodiles. A decent way to start the evening, although a few sips of the Gorkha Strong made my lack of drinking since leaving the UK evident. Tasty beer, though.

We ended the night with Chitwan’s “Cultural Program”, which included some traditional Nepali dancing and a huge highlight - a performance by someone dressed as a peacock. Truly scratching the itch I’ve had to see some theatre since leaving London.

Day 3 - Canoeing with crocodiles

We started the day by canoeing over the river and going on a jeep safari through the jungle.

The last time I did a safari, I would’ve been like 6 back in Poland, so this was a fair bit of an upgrade. We saw some rhinos, monkeys, and plenty of birds. I found seeing the birds pretty cool after having watched Listers recently (a documentary on some American guys getting high one night and deciding to spend an entire year seeing how many species of birds they can spot - I highly recommend it). Anyway, the safari was an enjoyable time, but not something I’m going to go out of my way to do in the future.

Following the jeep safari, we canoed through the river. This was a little sketchy as the canoe was fairly unstable, and the crocodiles do attack humans.

Following this, we trekked through the jungle back to our start point. This was pretty cool, being able to get closer to some wildlife, and even seeing some tiger footprints from the morning.

While trekking through the jungle, the guide also mentioned that he lost his friend last year, who was another guide. The friend was doing a jungle trekking tour and wanted to get up closer to a rhino to show the tourists. He didn’t realise that the rhino had her baby nearby, so she charged at the guide and bit him in the stomach. The tourists ran away, but the rescue team had issues finding the guide. He was found dead 6 hours later after having bled out. While we felt somewhat safe with our guide armed with his big bamboo stick, things can turn quite quickly here.

Once we were back in the village, the hotel manager told us that there was a baby rhino in the army compound over the road. We walked over, and indeed, there was a baby rhino going about its business while the army was hanging up laundry. Turns out that the rhino’s mother died, and the baby would likely be killed by the males in the wild, so the army is keeping it as a pet.

That was about it for the tour - it was 4 days, and included quite a lot of downtime, which was much needed. I’m glad I did it as it was very varied, helping me figure out more of what I want to do for the rest of my travels. It was also cool to see how things can work smoothly in Nepal entirely on trust and WhatsApp amidst all the chaos. Maybe spontaneous plans aren’t so bad after all.

Background

Having done some shorter meditation retreats (two 3-day ones and one 5-day one) under the Triratna Buddhist tradition through the London Buddhist Centre in Bethnal Green, I was excited to attend this one for a few reasons:

• It’s long - 10 full days, with a half-day on either side. That should have really let me go deep on meditation more than I ever have before, and I was curious what would happen with my mind during this time.

• It’s highly regarded - Vipassana is very popular worldwide, with many people having seemingly gotten lots of value from it.

• It’s non-sectarian - despite its core technique being heavily rooted in Buddhism, the course doesn’t endorse any sort of organised religion. The retreats I’ve done before were all Buddhist, so I was curious how others looked like.

• It seemed hard - I wanted to take this on as a personal challenge.

I didn’t need to do this course in India, as there are centres for it all over the world. However, since they usually book out months in advance, I booked it towards the start of my travels so that I can be more flexible with travelling after I was done.

The course itself is entirely donation-based, and there isn’t much push at all during it to donate. In fact, I’ve been trying to donate, and they’re not making it easy - as a foreigner, I need to submit some extra information, and nobody is getting back to me from the contact numbers and emails listed on the centre’s website.

Course Structure and Rules

The course structure was pretty much the same every day, which is as follows:

• 4:00 am: Morning wake-up bell

• 4:30-6:30 am: Meditate in the hall

• 6:30-8:00 am: Breakfast

• 8:00-9:00 am: Group meditation in the hall

• 9:00-11:00 am: Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher’s instructions

• 11:00-12:00 noon: Lunch

• 12 noon-1:00 pm: Rest or questions with the teacher

• 1:00-2:30 pm: Meditate in the hall

• 2:30-3:30 pm: Group meditation in the hall

• 3:30-5:00 pm: Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher’s instructions

• 5:00-6:00 pm: Snack break

• 6:00-7:00 pm: Group meditation in the hall

• 7:00-8:15 pm: Teacher’s Discourse in the hall

• 8:15-9:00 pm: Group meditation in the hall

• 9:00-9:30 pm: Optional question time in the hall

• 9:30 pm: Retire to your own room--Lights out

There was also a 5-10 minute break between each session. There are two things that I really struggled with in this timetable - the sheer amount of meditation every day (10 hours), and the short window of sleep opportunity (7 hours if not staying up to ask the teacher anything).

I value my sleep, so about 6.5 hours a night was not enough. I ended up napping after breakfast and lunch every day, as the breaks were long, to make up for it. The 2-hour meditation session in the morning was also a complete write-off, as I just focused on not falling asleep. Others also struggled with this, and you could hear some occasional snores. I don’t see why those breaks aren’t shortened and the opportunity to sleep extended - I felt like a zombie every day until after my lunch nap.

I also couldn’t stray from the timetable unless I had a good reason for it (e.g. I was sick). If the organisers saw you still in bed when the bell rang, they would come in to your room and try to get you out of bed.

There are also 5 precepts you have to follow:

• Don’t kill living beings.

• Don’t steal.

• Don’t perform any sexual misconduct.

• Don’t lie.

• Don’t take intoxicants.

Those were easy enough to follow. There were also a few other rules:

• No verbal or non-verbal communication with other students. I could talk to the teacher during question sessions, and the volunteers, if I needed a hand with anything, though.

• I wasn’t allowed to use my phone.

• Men and women were separated and were not meant to mingle in any way.

• I couldn’t exercise, aside from walking around the courtyard.

• I wasn’t allowed to write or read anything.

I think the last two rules were good, and were unlike other retreats I’ve been on. It really forces you to focus on your mind and meditation without distraction, despite it making things more difficult.

The technique that was taught was fairly simple at heart, with many commonalities with other meditation techniques I’ve done before. I won’t get into it too much, but it focuses a lot on your breathing and feeling sensations in your body, while requiring you to not react to any unpleasant sensations and instead letting them to pass. It’s fairly simple, but every bit of complexity that was added made a difference since you ended up meditating for 10 hours a day.

My Experience

Honestly, the retreat was tough at many points. Doing nothing but meditating ended up feeling quite laborious, and I got various pains in my body after sitting for 10 hours a day. Other retreats I’ve been on were nicely broken up by being able to read, listen to Buddhist teachings, and chat to people (who seemingly all either have a neuroscience background or are hippies from Bristol - not people I encounter every day).

The silence was mostly fine to deal with, but not being able to share my experience with anyone felt quite alienating, especially in the first few days. At the same time, it meant that other people’s experiences couldn’t impact my own.

As for any sort of revelations I had, I was able to meditate deeper than I have before, which is sort of a dragon I’ve been chasing since I started meditating in group settings 6 years ago. Aside from the mediation, having so much time to think without distractions allowed me to process experiences from the past that I honestly didn’t think I needed to process more. It made some things clearer to me, and my mind feels a lot more in tune.

I also found that my mind was going weird places in the absence of any novel stimuli. Apart from a new birdsong or insect sound being a big deal, my mind was occupied quite a lot thinking about music and films that I like, especially ones from the past I rarely think about. I’ve also ended up recalling various old, mundane memories that I’ve completely forgotten about. With that, I also had some incredibly vivid dreams mostly relating to family members, especially deceased ones.

At the end of the retreat, I feel like I’m extra sensitive to the feelings of people around me. In general, talking about emotions is easier and more intuitive, but some things feel a little overwhelming. I felt similarly after shorter retreats before, but not to this degree. Saying this, I’ve had a similar experience after other retreats, and most of this effect will slowly fade in the coming weeks.

Taking the Course Abroad

Taking the course in India has added a significant challenge that I haven’t found in meditation retreats in the UK. My meditation centres I’m comparing my experience to are Vajrasana, which has an article on The Guardian about it, and Adhisthana, which looks a bit like a manor house. Instead, I stayed in what looked like student accommodation.

The manners were also a little different from what I was used to, with other students openly farting, coughing, snorting, and burping for the whole 10 days. In a sense, it added some complexity and provided some extra things to try not react to.

There was also no toilet paper in the building and none of the bathrooms had bins (you can’t flush toilet paper in India), so I’m assuming everyone was running around with wet bideted bums like me.

Sleeping was also tough, with the beds too small and the mattress seemingly backed by a wooden plank. This especially started becoming a problem a few days in, but I got used to it.

A nice perk of the retreat was having pretty tasty Indian food. Every day, there was something different for breakfast and lunch. I usually had two courses - one taking small samples of everything to check what might kill me, and another one doubling down on the tasty stuff. I’m not sure what half the stuff was, as I couldn’t ask, but some of it was great. I went for two courses as I had explosive diarrhoea during the first 3 days of the retreat (likely a continuation of what I got in Agra), which I also sadly couldn’t apologise my well-mannered German roommate about.

I got one photo of how the final breakfast looked, which is one of the simpler ones they gave us (and yes, I’m aware it looks like a prison meal).

Of the 30 men at the retreat, there were two other foreigners. We effectively ended up having a photoshoot with all the Indians on the last day as many were very keen to take photos with us. Some also invited me for food to their homes and offered to travel around India with me. As a foreigner in India, I could have come here without a plan and just spent months getting pampered by the locals.

Final Thoughts

I’m really glad I did the retreat and came out with a lot from it, although I’m still assimilating the experience. I didn’t have any particular revelations, unlike the other attendees, but it was a valuable experience either way. One of the guys also started manically screaming as soon as the silence was over, so I guess things could have also gone differently for me.

Maybe I won’t come back to London with elephant trousers and dreadlocks after all.

Landmarks

I slowed down a bit on visiting the landmarks here, only opting to go for the things I really wanted to see. There were quite a few highlights here. First, the Amber Fort - a 16th-century hilltop fortress. The approach to it was a scenic 15-minute walk, requiring some caution as elephants would pass from time to time, squirting water everywhere.

Next, the Jal Mahal, which is a palace intentionally built in a lake for the Maharaja to host duck-hunting parties. I’ve never seen anything like it, and it had a really serene energy about it. I visited once in the daytime, and once in the evening with a friend who was visiting for work from London (Bea). The palace looked stunning in the sunset.

While waiting for Bea, I got chatting to a local who runs a bitcoin farm. I found this pretty interesting, as crypto mining is barely profitable in most of the world since the yields usually barely cover electricity costs (and I didn't think it was popular these days given the impact it has on the environment). Many people I met here seem to do obscure tech work like this that’s infeasible in the West, which has been pretty cool to get to know as a tech nerd at heart.

Finally, the Hawa Mahal, which is a screen built to allow royal women to watch the street without being seen by the public. This is one of the coolest buildings I’ve seen here so far, reminding me a lot of Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Coincidentally, there was some sort of procession happening when I was there. I encountered a few others like this during my time in Jaipur, with locals rarely knowing whether it’s for a festival, wedding, or something else. I’m glad I got to see this, as it seems a few of the trucks had DIY sound systems that I’ve seen obscure clips of on Instagram before and was curious about, like this one:

The trucks were a variety of electronic music (with crowds of Indians behind dancing like crazy), featuring a surprising amount of Latin-sounding drums (not in the video).

Finally, I stopped off at the Albert Hall Museum. Admittedly, the building looked much better than the collections inside, which featured mostly artefacts from other countries (I was keen on learning more about Indian culture).

I really liked this backstory for an old painting depicting a myth around Sri Lanka:

Seeing some Bollywood

I really wanted to see a Bollywood film in India, having never seen one before. There’s an old cinema in Jaipur that the locals recommended to me (Raj Mandir), so I went there despite it only putting on films in Hindi with no English subtitles.

The cinema was only screening one film - Border 2, which is a war drama about the India-Pakistan war of 1971. Films mostly based on action sequences are not my thing, but I thought I’d go for it.

The cinema itself was really cool inside, reminding me of a fancy hotel or casino. Many of the locals came to the screening with their families dressed up smart, so going out to the cinema might be a bit of an event here.

I really enjoyed the film, mostly from a novelty aspect. The fight scenes featured an excessive amount of sound effects, mundane scenes were made to be super dramatic, and the actors would seemingly randomly break out into English to say phrases like “cheeky devil” and “relax boys”. The film itself was also nicely shot and colour-graded. The music lacked a little, though, with parts of the same 3 scores repeated all the way throughout the 2.5-hour film, reminding me a little of low-budget Polish films. The story was also easy enough to follow despite not speaking Hindi (India wins). One of the locals was also really excited to see a foreigner watching a Hindi film and kept excitedly checking up on me before the film and during the intervals.

Food

The food in Jaipur has been great, with vegetarian thalis being very popular in the region. I also had the best meal I’ve had in India here, in a place called Chokhi Thali, which has only been open for 3 months. The restaurant is run by a family and is set in what used to be their living room. The mum was cooking, her older son was waitering, and her younger daughter would also pop in at points to give me more food that was coming freshly off the stove.

The food here was incredible, with their thali consisting of around 15 individual dishes.

The atmosphere was unlike anything I’ve experienced before in a restaurant, feeling like I was eating at a friend’s family home. During the meal, I talked to a few of the locals and the son, who was studying liberal arts at uni. The son also showed me a nearby Hindu temple that was built in a style similar to Khmer architecture in Cambodia, which I don’t think many tourists know about. I don’t have a photo, as some guy in a corner started shouting at me when I got my phone out - hopefully my karma didn’t drop too much by doing that.

After getting to Agra, a tuk-tuk driver said that he’d drive me to the Taj Mahal for 100 rupees, which was a reasonable price. After the mess the night before with getting back from Hamayun’s tomb, I agreed, hoping it would have saved me some trouble. This was unlike me, always opting for Uber or local ride-hailing app alternatives that provide some accountability for the drivers and transparent pricing. As it turns out, this decision would haunt me for the rest of the day.

On the way to the Taj Mahal, the driver mentioned that I could hire him for the whole day for 1200 rupees. I wasn’t interested as I really didn’t want someone hanging over me like this, but with some time, he lowered his price to 600 rupees, which I could pay at the end of the day. This was a good price, even compared to tuk-tuking everywhere via Uber, so I thought I’d go for it for the convenience. I was also curious about the experience of renting a tuk-tuk driver for the day, which I’ve seen accounts of online.

While trying to convince me, the driver showed me some reviews from Polish people that he’s driven around before. The reviews were pretty old and mentioned the tuk-tuk driver by name being a guide (I asked him about this, and he said he’s not a guide), so something wasn’t quite adding up, but I didn’t think much of it - maybe he felt that he got enough reviews to seem trustworthy and stopped asking. Also, that’s one thing I started doing - telling people that I’m coming from Poland and not from the UK. The locals seem to treat me a little differently then, and seem less pushy with trying to sell me things I don’t want. I’ve also resorted to saying I’m a graduate and not a software engineer for similar reasons, as software engineering is viewed as a pretty prestigious job here.

After passing some kids riding dogs and stray animals eating rubbish on the side of the road, we eventually arrived at the Taj Mahal. I’ve seen a lot of stuff online about arriving early to the Taj Mahal, which turned out to not be necessary. I arrived at around 11 AM, and there was barely a queue.

I’ve mostly been going through the motions of seeing mausoleums and temples (to be honest, I’ll probably get bored with them soon), but I was genuinely impressed by the Taj Mahal. Having seen it in photos all my life and it effectively becoming synonymous with India itself, it was surreal seeing it in the flesh.

Many of the locals also wanted photos with me here, so I decided to start taking photos with them too.

After leaving the Taj Mahal, the tuk-tuk driver took me to a spot for lunch. I asked if he eats there, and he said that he doesn’t, and that he takes “people like me” there. Curious. The driver seemed to leave to go somewhere after every time he dropped me off, so I could just leave if it was particularly bad.

The restaurant seemingly only had tourists in it, so something felt off. I was presented with a menu, beautifully embellished in Comic Sans, with everything being triple the price of the places I’ve eaten at before. Given that the place was fairly busy, I thought I’d stay, with low hopes of the food being slightly better than at previous places I’ve eaten at. While waiting for my food, I checked the restaurant’s Google Maps reviews - a glowing 4.3 with hundreds of reviews. I dug deeper. There were around 13 reviews from the same morning, all rating the restaurant 5 stars with no text, coming from accounts with Indian-sounding names. Checking the reviewer’s profiles, they gave many similar 5-star reviews recently on other businesses in the area. I’m assuming that there’s a pretty elaborate scheme by the restaurant owners to get the place to rank high in search results and to overcharge tourists. Oh well. The food turned out to be bad, and the waiter was pretty pushy with getting me to buy extras; it was all making sense. I assume the tuk-tuk driver got some good commission for taking me here.

After lunch, I went to Agra Fort - the residence of emperors in the 16th century, before the capital was changed to Delhi. On the way to the fort, the driver commented on my rings, asking where I got them from and how much they cost. He then started suggesting going to some jewellery market after the fort, which I can only assume he’s also getting a cut from taking tourists to. I’ve never seen my jewellery as a sign of wealth, but I was impressed to find that he managed to find a way to try and squeeze money out of a Polish graduate.

The fort was cool, with lots of smaller features to explore. I might have started getting a little jaded by the fort and temples here, though, as it reminded me a lot of the Red Fort in Delhi.

After being done with the fort, I asked the driver to take me back to the station despite my train being a few hours away. There were some other historical sights in the city, but my stomach was starting to feel a little off and I wasn’t too motivated. The driver continued to push with the jewellery markets and got a little annoyed when I started being firmer with him, but it worked. I paid him the previously agreed amount and left, a weight being lifted off me.

At the station, Delhi belly started to hit me. I thought I was going quite well, but 6 days into the travels, I think my stomach must have been at its limit. Unluckily, the Agra train station toilet might be one of the worst ever. I got quite used to this sight over the next few hours (don’t ask me about the brown stains on all the walls):

The lord gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, or something like that.

In the interims of my bum-clenching masterclass, I had some of the best interactions with locals so far. People were genuinely curious about where I was from, were excited to show me things to do in India, and overall made me feel very welcome. One guy bought some chai for me out of nowhere, and various people came up with their first question being whether I’m a YouTuber which I found quite funny (YouTube seems to be a big deal for young people here). I didn’t think one of my highlights of India would come from being stuck in a train station for 5 hours.

While waiting for the train, I gave ordering food to my carriage a shot via one of the local delivery apps. As I did so, I encountered some peculiarly named resturants:

Traditional gender roles seem to still be in full force here.

The sleeper train to Jaipur was smooth, with one of the locals making it his mission to update me on any schedule changes despite the extent of his English being “bro, bro”, knowing I was having trouble finding information about the train. The train was the most packed I’ve ever seen, without an inch of the floor being free from someone sleeping on it. I went to the toilet once and was away for 2 minutes max, and yet someone crawled into my bed in that time - luckily the bro bro guy had my back and helped out.

Having spoken to the locals a few days later, they found it impressive that I managed to hack a sleeper train in India. I didn’t think it was that bad, but hey, when in Rome.

Following this, we got a tour of the kitchen, where a lot of people were making chapatis and mixing curry in huge vats, and sat down to eat.

The curry was surprisingly nice, but the experience of being in the dining hall was a little treacherous, having to dodge puddles of spilt lentil slop while barefoot. Either way, a really cool experience.

After leaving the temple, we got more street food - this time a dish called ‘chore bhature’. Many locals told me to try this, so I’m glad we got to do it on this tour. The dish consisted mostly of chickpea curry and fermented deep-fried bread. The texture of the bread was unlike anything I’ve ever had, with the sauces accompanying it perfectly - it might be my favourite North Indian dish I’ve had so far.

After finding somewhere to wipe my hands, we had this deep-fried dumpling filled with cream inside (which I can’t remember the name of) and followed the tour guide to the spice market. Breathing was very difficult there due to the spices in the air, and the whole tour group started coughing. We went up some tight alleyways and ended up behind the market - this was a highlight for me, truly proving the value of a guide that knows where they’re going.

The guide took us to a kitchen where a local made some chai and shared it with us. The chai was very tasty, and being there felt like being welcomed into someone’s family.

After the tour, the guide gave us some context about the people working in the markets. We saw many people carrying huge bags of spices at the market, which is a job that he told us they do for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. This is common for many similar labour-intensive jobs in India. For this, they’re paid around €150 a month, or around €0.50 an hour. As the guide put it, earning the minimum wage in most developed countries already guarantees a level of income that’s a dream for some people here. India really has a level of wealth disparity I’ve never experienced before, and it put many things into perspective.

To finish the day, we went to a traditional north indian restaurant and had an absolute feast, for less than £2 each.

I quite enjoyed the decor here, with the wall clock donning the owner’s face. A lot of my days here are spent quietly entertained by some of the locals' decor and design choices.

Final day in Delhi

To wrap up my stay in Delhi, I went to visit some art galleries and museums. I’ve never been to an art gallery or museum in Asia, so I was quite excited for this. My first stop was the National Crafts Museum, which was a great introduction to India’s crafts history. Amongst my favourite pieces, there were these figurines made of cow dung and clay. I’m unsure if the studio manager at my pottery studio would support me using this technique, though.

There was also this carpet depicting the miracle of the staff of Moses, which I really liked the style of:

Outside the gallery, there was a small arts market. I thought that was a really cool touch, adding an interactive aspect to the gallery.

Next, I went to the National Gallery of Modern Art. This was a huge gallery, mostly showcasing the work of Indian artists. I was impressed to see how eclectic some of the works were, with more recent pieces seeming to draw inspiration from pop art and Japanese styles. Amongst the pieces I liked, there was this one by Akbar Padamsee:

To finish the day, I went to see Hamayun’s tomb, which is a 16-th century garden tomb that served as the precursor to the Taj Mahal. I was particularly intrigued by this as its colours looked like something out of a Wes Anderson film.

Getting back was a bit of a challenge that night. The rush hour in Delhi at around 6 PM is brutal, with most roads getting completely clogged up and bikers opting to ride on the pavements. I thought walk up the road for my chances of getting an Uber to increase, but I encountered a shrine guarded by a bunch of stray dogs with no pavement on the other side, forcing me to go back and be patient. I managed to grab a bike in the end, sending me off nicely for an early night to prepare me for Agra.

I met another British traveller, Tom, at breakfast, who’s also just arrived and was keen to explore a few of the more popular places in Delhi. The hostel (Joey’s hostel) I was staying in has been amazing for meeting new people - the guests are friendly, the staff are fun, and the hostel was constantly organising tours and activities for the guests (none of which involve drinking until blackout with 18-year-olds on their gap yahs). I could have come to Delhi and only done what the hostel planned, and I’d have had an amazing time. I really lucked out here.

Our first stop was the Red Fort, which served as the main residence of emperors in the 17th century. After getting out of the Uber-booked tuk-tuk, we started getting harassed by tour guides and tuk-tuk drivers. I won’t dwell on this more, but it’s pretty persistent anywhere I’ve been in India. As a tourist, I seem to be seen as a walking cash machine, with the only effective way to lose harassers being not talking to them.

The Red Fort was a cool thing to visit, with a lot of the complex being free to roam around in. At the fort, we also started getting our first requests for photos with the locals. I’ve heard of this happening to tourists, but I didn’t think it would happen in a huge city that must get plenty of tourism. Anyway, this was a breath of fresh air as the locals were consistently excited to talk to us and telling us that we’re welcome in India, despite sometimes struggling with English. At this point, I must have featured in about 10 locals’ Instagram posts.

Leaving the Red Fort, we wandered through the markets of Chandi Chowk, which is one of the biggest markets in Delhi. The market was overwhelming, not helped by the apparent lack of the concept of personal space among the locals. We retreated to the sideroads, where barely any locals spoke English. I was amazed that you can buy anything you can think of at this market - there were some stalls, for example, selling only big calculators or only analogue wall clocks. I’m unsure how that can be profitable, but I’m sure they’re making it work. Our eventual destination was the Jama mosque - the largest mosque in India. On the way there, we witnessed a few locals screaming at each other, some others fighting, and someone getting interviewed on TV about a missing person. Pretty intense, but also felt like a microcosm for Delhi.

Visiting the mosque was a learning experience above all else. On the way in, you need to take off your shoes. A guy was guarding some shoes left outside, but we saw that some people were carrying theirs inside. Questioning the shoe guy about this, I was told that they can do that because they’re muslim. At risk of being disrespectful, we gave our shoes.

As we came in, one of the people from a desk set up right outside the mosque (which seemed quite official) started giving us a tour. We both realised we really messed up by giving our shoes in, as effectively they’ve now been held hostage while the guy was giving us the worst tour either of us has experienced - we could barely understand him, and he was telling us outright lies (e.g. that the marble used to build the mosque is from Dubai, which isn’t true). As predicted, once the “tour” was finished, he swiftly asked us for 500 rupees (£4) for the tour (I later found that’s the price of a professional guide for a long tour). We gave him a fraction of that, hoping to get him on our side when it comes to retrieving our shoes. After roaming around the mosque for a bit (which was stunning, although I dare say less impressive than ones in Uzbekistan), we left the mosque and grabbed our shoes. The shoe guy started asking for payment too, and we said that we already paid the tour guide. Luckily the tour guide was on our side and defused the situation. We really should have gotten a guide of some sort to visit Old Delhi.

After the mosque palaver, we ran off to a nearby Biryani place, which just so happened to serve the best Biryani I’ve ever had. India seems to be quite good for restaurants that mostly have one dish on the menu, and they do that dish very well.

In the hopes of relaxing somewhere, we got a Tuk-Tuk to Lodhi Art District - an arty part of the city. On the way there, Tom captured what the roads look like here pretty well:

Wandering around the art district, we bumped into two locals recording a video, and they asked us if we wanted to answer a few questions on camera. Tom and Ben (another British guy from the hostel who just joined us) were keen to do it, so we agreed. We asked what the questions would be about, and the interviewers told us it wouldn’t be anything we had to prepare. That couldn’t be further from the truth - the questions were “What do you think of the ongoing art festival” (we didn’t know there was one), “How does British and Indian art differ” (none of us knew), “Is art political” (which we didn’t know how to answer at risk of getting our visas revoked). Nothing was posted about this on their Instagram or YouTube over the next few days, which I can only assume was because our answers were shit.

To finish the day, we went to the Lotus Temple. This was, so far, the most interesting temple I’ve been to, solely because it’s not a temple of any particular religion - I didn’t know such temples existed. Inside, we heard a reading from the Bible, the Quran, hindu scripture, and buddhist scripture. The building and gardens themselves were also quite something.

Finally, we finished the day by getting some incredible momos around the corner from our hostel. I’ve really been enjoying being able to get amazing food anywhere for not very much here.

Tom also told me that food and grocery delivery apps are good here, so I used one to get some snacks and fruit delivered and to avoid the harassment I’d get by leaving my hostel. It was a great recommendation - the prices seemed on par with what I could get at local shops, and delivery was free. In the UK, you get charged a hefty premium for the convenience of using such apps, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. Funnily enough, the app sends an obscene amount of promotional notifications, and there’s no way to turn them off without also having notifications about your deliveries turned off. Just when I thought I was safe from the harassment in my dorm, it turns out the apps are doing it too.

Delhi’s air pollution is apparent from the moment you land. I’ve known about Delhi constantly topping the charts of the most polluted cities, but I didn’t think it was going to be so visible. You can see it in this frame from a video I took - the city is covered in what seems like mist. It’s going to be hard to take decent photos here:

The hostel I’m staying at emailed me with directions on how to get to the hostel by metro, so I thought to forgo the luxury of an Uber and live like a local. I’m glad I did so, as it was full of slight culture shocks:

• I accidentally sat in the poorly marked women-only part of my carriage.

• There was a pregnancy test advertised on every carriage called “Prega News”, with their slogan being “Means good news!”. Interesting seeing a birth control product implying what emotions a result should evoke.

• I was seemingly the only tourist taking the underground, priming me for a lot more staring during the rest of my trip in Delhi.

• There was a recurring announcement on the train saying not to touch any loose wires or transistors as they might be a bomb.

After dodging a few tuk-tuks and mopeds on the walk to the hostel, I was greeted by the Indian receptionist saying a few popular phrases in a scouse accent. It turns out that the guy on Instagram asking people where’s the best place to get a chicken and a can of coke and EsDeeKid might be some of Britain’s best recent cultural exports.

For my first meal, I asked the receptionist for recommendations, and he suggested a South Indian restaurant down the road. I was tempted by getting something from a street food stall that every street seems to be rammed with, but I felt like I was already on borrowed time having survived the flight. I ordered a vegetarian thali of some sort, which was really good despite not knowing what was in half the pots. I also quickly found that my spice tolerance needs to go up, and it needs to do so quickly. I hope the locals got some entertainment from me sitting in the middle of the restaurant bright red with tears streaming, and I hope I didn’t cause too much trouble to the waiter who brought me a pot of yoghurt unprompted.

It wasn’t too late after I finished with food, so I visited the world’s largest Hindu temple, which was nearby - the Swaminarayan Akshardham. I got on the back of an Uber motorbike to go there, paying 9p for a 20 minute ride. That in itself was an experience, being so close to Delhi’s insane traffic while supporting my helmet with my hand as the one the driver gave me had a broken strap.

The temple itself was very impressive, with lots of intricate architectural details. It also provided refuge from Delhi’s bustle, which I found was much needed. The security on the way in was very tight, and I had to leave my phone and film camera behind, so I didn’t take photos inside. Either way, the temple still looked quite impressive from far away:

While waiting for my transport back, I got harassed by a few incessant tuk-tuk drivers. One thing I had to learn quite quickly here is that it’s not worth interacting with the locals who are trying to sell you something you’re not interested in, as there’s nothing you can say that will make them leave, even after turning the situation sour by saying that they’re wasting their time or that you want them to leave you alone - they’ll only double down. Having spoken to a few people in the hostel later, the consensus seems that the best course of action is to ignore them, as crass as it sounds.

When I was back at the hostel I wanted to get some fruit to snack on, as is my wont while travelling. A local saw I was a little confused trying to locate a supermarket, so he offered to help. After the experience with the tuk-tuk drivers I was hesitant, but since the guy was young and alone, he seemed innocuous. We ended up getting some fruit from a stand and he insisted on paying which was a nice gesture, but also made me feel uncomfortably indebted to him. The food had salt and and some spice on it which didn’t really do anything for the flavour, but I was glad I was having something that might induce a bowel movement. Anyway, we talked about his French studies and future travel plans, after which he swiftly invited me for dinner at his place. I politely declined as I quite like having both my kidneys, but it was a nice gesture if it was well-intended. I gave the guy my number as consolation and got back to the hostel

Later on, I found that Delhi has a serious problem with missing people, with over 800 reported in the first 27 days of 2026. I felt like I made the right choice. The guy (whose name was Prince) sent me a message later referencing some food he mentioned earlier, a good morning message, and eventually a photo of the curry he cooked for dinner. After getting a full night’s sleep and thinking rationally again, I wasn’t too tempted, but I keep thinking about what could’ve been. Prince, if you’re reading this and your intentions were pure, I’m sorry 💔.